Religious black man gunned down by white racist

September 29, 2014

From The People’s Cube.

As you may have heard, there was a beheading in Oklahoma, and for some reason the whole country is freaking out. It’s just a little blood, people! Sometimes, some of us will have to give our heads in order for Muslims to have the civil right to fully practice their religion. 

There are more important things to be concerned with in the United States, such as the right of Muslims to practice Sharia law, and whether blacks are being gunned down in huge numbers by racist whites. 

Today, the world mourns the double civil rights violations (bigoted racism and religious persecution) that occurred in Oklahoma. The incident in question involved Alton Nolen, a black man and a practicing Muslim. 

Nolen came to the factory office of his former employer, seeking a quiet place to practice his religion, free from fear or persecution. What he got was a bullet, after he mindfully severed one infidel’s head and was in the process of sacrificing another. 

In the midst of seeking asylum to practice his religion, Nolen was brutally assaulted by a racist white man with a questionably legal gun, and prevented the free exercise thereof his religion. This is the thanks that Muslims get for having the courage to practice pacifism in America. 

victim

Al Sharpton is calling for an investigation into the incident; citing the fact that the black victim only had a knife, while the white shooter had a gun. It raises the question of why excessive firepower was used against a man who clearly posed no threat to the community. Sharpton demands to know why the victim was racially profiled for practicing his religion. He calls the attack “Worshiping while black.” 

In addition, there are calls from the victim’s factory union into why the victim was fired from his job. The union insists that if the victim had been paid fair wages, that the victim would not have been forced to return to the factory after being unfairly terminated. 

The union also states that if a prayer room facing towards Mecca had been installed in the factory, and the victim had been offered more breaks on which to say his prayers, the victim may not have felt the need to express his feelings towards the infidels. 

Additional grievances include the serving of pork products in the cafeteria and the existence of female employees.

(story continues here)


Holder to walk: attorney general leaving fast, furious

September 28, 2014

From ScrappleFace.com.

A Justice Department source says Attorney General Eric Holder hopes to leave his post fast, furious with opponents’ attacks on his tenure as the nation’s top law enforcement officer.

President Obama, reportedly, plans to just “let him walk.”

“Of course, Obama will always know where Holder is,” the unnamed source said. “Such a powerful person is easy to trace, in case the president needs to shoot him an email, or has a legal concern that’s sort of borderline.”

Friends and associates say the Attorney General hopes to “get a job in the private sector where the cops won’t hassle him just because he’s black.”


Signed, sealed, but not delivered

September 28, 2014

(Hat tip to Will S.’s Sunny Side Blog.)

Ken Brassington, a letter carrier for Canada Post, failed to deliver a package that was addressed to this house. But he did snap a photograph of the reason for his failure to do so.

bear

Then he left a nice explanatory note at the post office for the homeowner.

bear*

Which makes Mr. Brassington a heckuva lot smarter than this guy.

 

 


Some beautiful music for Sunday

September 28, 2014

Yesterday was the anniversary of the birth of pianist, conductor, and composer Jean Berger, born in Germany to a Jewish family in 1909. He left Germany in 1933 following Hitler’s rise to power, moving first to France, then to Brazil. He moved to the United States in 1941, enlisted in the army in 1942, and became a U.S. citizen in 1943. After the war, Berger had a long academic career, serving on the faculties of Middlebury College, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and the University of Colorado at Boulder. He composed works for orchestra and for chamber ensembles, but most of his compositions were for the voice — including this beautiful “Alleluia” from The Brazilian Psalm, for tenor and chorus.


Sign of the times

September 27, 2014


Someone needs to teach this guy some manners

September 26, 2014

I’m referring not just to his failure to put down his coffee cup before saluting the Marines (or at least switch it to his left hand, which was empty), but also to his exiting the helicopter before his wife. A true gentleman would have allowed the lady to go first.

 


You can look it up

September 26, 2014

abdicate: to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach

algebra: what the Little Mermaid wears

allege: a rocky platform on a mountain

arbitrator: a cook that leaves Arby’s to work at Burger King

arson: our daughter’s brother

avoidable: what a bullfighter tries to do

backward: patient rooms at the rear of a hospital

balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline

baloney: where some hemlines fall

barium: what doctors do when patients die

bassinet: what every fisherman wants

belong: to take your time

benign: what you be after you be eight

bernadette: the act of torching a mortgage

buccaneer: how much a pirate pays for his earrings

burglarize: what a crook sees with

carpet: a dog that enjoys riding in an automobile

cauterize: made eye contact with her

circular definition: see definition, circular

circumvent: opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

coffee: the person upon whom one coughs

condescend: a prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope

control: a short, ugly inmate

copper nitrate: a policeman’s overtime pay

current: fee charged by Rent-A-Mutt

deduce: de lowest card in de deck

diagnostic: someone who is unsure if there are two gods

dilate: live long

document: repeating what your doctor told you in your own words

donkey: object that unlocks door to the godfather’s house

earthquake: topographical error

eclipse: what a gardener does to your hedge

esplanade: to attempt an explanation while drunk

excommunicated: received a phone call from a former spouse

eyedropper: a clumsy ophthalmologist

falsehood: someone who pretends to be a gangster

fanatic: to ventilate the extreme upper portion of a house

fibula: small lie

fission: what Huck Finn did when he played hooky

flabbergasted: appalled over how much weight one has gained

flatulence: emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

gargoyle: an olive-flavored mouthwash

geometry: what the acorn said when it grew up

grateful: what it takes to build a good fire

ground beef: cow with no legs

handicap: a ready-to-use hat

hangnail: what you hang your coat on

hari-kari: transporting a wig

heroes: what a guy in a boat does

hunger: what the posse did to the lady rustler

hypochondriac: someone who won’t leave well enough alone

hypothesis: what a boy says to his father on the telephone

icing: what I do when I shower

impotent: distinguished, well known

infantry: a newly planted sapling

intense: where campers sleep

irony: opposite of wrinkly

kinship: your sibling’s boat

laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor

laundress: a gown worn while sitting on the grass

left bank: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot

midget: center engine of a three-engine fast plane

minimum: a very small mother

misty: how golfers create divots

morbid: a higher offer than I bid

nacho cheese: cheese that doesn’t belong to you

negligent: a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie

observatory: what George Washington’s spies did

oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms

pandemonium: housing development for pandas

paradise: ivory cubes used in craps and backgammon

paradox: what you need two apples a day to keep away

paralyze: two falsehoods

parasites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

pharmacist: a helper on the farm

Pokemon: a Jamaican proctologist

Polynesia: memory loss in parrots

primate: removing your spouse from in front of the TV

protestants: worker ants out to overthrow the queen

rampage: section of a book about male sheep

rectum: darn near killed ‘em

relief: what trees do in the spring

selfish: what the owner of a seafood store does

sherbet: a tip on a horse race or sporting event

stirrup: what you do with cake batter

subdued: a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man

subsidy: a town underneath another town

sudafed: brought litigation against a government official

tenure: a year after nineure

terminal illness: getting sick at the airport

testicle: a humorous question on an exam

thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary

tumor: one plus one more

trapezoid: a device for catching zoids

unabated: a fishhook without a worm

understudy: prepare inadequately for an exam

urine: opposite of you’re out

warehouse: what you ask when you’re lost

wholesale: where a gopher goes to buy a home

willy-nilly: impotent


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