Pinpricks of light amid the darkness

November 28, 2014

Some people, not content with simply cursing the darkness, have been busy lighting some candles. Have the kleenex handy.

A former army paratrooper who is now a police officer took in two young victims of neglect and abuse. First he became their foster father, then he became their real father.

Two engineering students in Brisbane, Australia turned their van into a free mobile laundry service for homeless people.

A navy veteran in Florida came to the rescue of an elderly assault victim, and taught a valuable lesson to the punk who’d assaulted and robbed her.

A hard-working single mom in Cleveland got the surprise of a lifetime one day when she thought she was just going to work.

A couple in Omaha, Nebraska became foster parents to two little boys, whom they promptly fell in love with and adopted… and eventually ended up adopting all six of their sons’ biological brothers as well.

Two cops in Aurora, Colorado came to the aid of an elderly lady whose wallet was stolen while she was shopping for groceries, making sure she got everything that was on her shopping list and paying for it out of their own pockets.

A military couple in Newport News, Virginia responded to a lonely homeless man’s plea for a family to spend Thanksgiving with.


CNN holds morning meeting to decide what viewers should panic about for rest of day

November 28, 2014

Stolen from The Onion.

ATLANTA—Kicking around ideas ranging from an uptick in child kidnappings to a new link between laptops and cancer, senior CNN staffers held their regular daily meeting this morning to decide which topic viewers should panic about for the rest of the day.

“It’s always kind of tough to get our meetings going each morning, but once we got some coffee in us, we were able to toss around a few ideas on what might absolutely terrify half a million or so viewers today,” said CNN Newsroom executive producer Eric Hall, adding that although the discourse was briefly derailed by a recounting of the previous night’s NFL game and discussions of staff members’ upcoming weekend plans, the team eventually spent 45 minutes debating which stories had the legs to prey on people’s anxieties for a full 24-hour cycle.

“There was a lot of back-and-forth between those who really wanted to focus on scaring the hell out of people with a piece about the nation’s lack of preparedness for the next big earthquake and those who felt like we should try to stir up a frenzy over a potentially dangerous new teen trend called vamping, in which kids stay up all night texting with friends and posting on social media. Sarah pitched the threats posed by pit bulls, but she’s been pushing that thing since the day she started—at least she brought in Munchkins for everybody, though.”

Sources confirmed that those objecting to going with a story about a horrific waterborne illness in Asia eventually acquiesced rather than let the meeting drag on into lunch.


Happy Thanksgiving

November 27, 2014


Just a friendly reminder

November 26, 2014


Two heads are better than one

November 26, 2014

 


Thirty years of innovation

November 25, 2014

Stolen from CRASHR.


Nice little Constitution you got there

November 24, 2014

It’d be a shame if anything happened to it.

 


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