Planned Parenthood meets with Satan for damage control

July 28, 2015

From The Barbed Wire.

BABY PARTS R US HEADQUARTERS (The Barbed Wire) – Just days after an undercover video showed the chief medical officer for Planned Parenthood getting busted talking cavalierly about the organization’s practice of harvesting baby body parts for profit, the entity is in full damage control mode. Chief Sorceress and Cruella de Vil of Planned Parenthood, Cecile Richards, apologized, not for the practice of removing fetal organs for profit, but for the “tone and statements” of the staff member. Oh, and for getting caught admitting it on tape.

Now that another videotape has been released, and it may not be the last, showing evidence of Planned Parenthood selling baby parts for profit, Ms. Richards has been taking meetings with Satan to brainstorm on ways to save the organization’s brand. “Am I disappointed?” Satan asked, “Sure. I can’t pretend this doesn’t hurt the cause, but it’s not the end for us either. There’s just no way to make harvesting baby organs sound sexy to the public. And the latest lady who wanted to make enough money on the practice discussed in the video to get a Lamborghini? Well, I told her I’d get that car for her since she’s already sold her soul to me anyway.”

Satan went on to point out that Democrats were still on board with killing babies, as evidenced by their silence on the content of these two videos. He laughed at the prospect of Congress pulling any funding for Planned Parenthood too. Mephistopheles then said, “Those idiot Republicans are too shell-shocked to do anything they say they’re going to do. They don’t scare me at all.” [continue reading here]

How to install a low-cost home security system

July 28, 2015

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 16 work boots.

2. Put the boots on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few large dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on the front door that reads:

Hey Bubba — Me, Big Jim, and Duke went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I locked all four of ’em in the house. Better wait outside. — Mike

Some beautiful music for Sunday

July 26, 2015

Happy Caturday

July 25, 2015

Happy birthday, John Newton

July 24, 2015

John Newton was born in London on July 24, 1725. At the age of eleven he went to sea with his father, a ship’s captain. After his father’s retirement, John signed on with a merchant ship sailing to the Mediterranean. He later served a brief and unsuccessful stint in the Royal Navy, after which he joined the crew of a slave ship bound for West Africa. But the ship’s crew found him troublesome, and they left him with an African slave dealer named Amos Clowe, who gave him to his wife as her slave.

In 1748 Newton was rescued by friends of his father and returned to England. He continued his involvement in the slave trade for many years, despite his own experience as a slave, and despite having undergone a religious conversion on one of his voyages. He did not become a true abolitionist until many years after a stroke had forced him to retire from active involvement in the slave trade.

In 1788, Newton published a pamphlet, Thoughts Upon the Slave Trade, in which he described the horrible conditions on the slave ships, and wrote that “It will always be a subject of humiliating reflection to me, that I was once an active instrument in a business at which my heart now shudders.” He joined in the efforts of William Wilberforce and other abolitionists in Parliament to outlaw the slave trade, and he lived to see the passage of the Slave Trade Act on March 25, 1807. Nine months later, he died in London, the city of his birth.

John Newton is best remembered today as the author of the hymn “Amazing Grace.” In 1982, 175 years after his death, he was inducted into the Gospel Music Hall of Fame.

Democrats drop use of all ‘racist’ currency

July 23, 2015


The Democratic National Committee today announced that it, and its members, would stop using most United States currency, and destroy their current stockpiles, as a way of rejecting “the barbaric, racist, genocidal and capitalistic values” of the men whose faces appear on U.S. bills and coins.

The move comes in the wake of the Charlotte, NC, church shooting that led to nationwide protests against, and bans of, the Confederate flag, as well as vandalization of many Confederate war memorials. This week, North Carolina Democrats, under pressure from the NAACP, dropped the presidential names from their annual Jefferson-Jackson dinner, to erase the legacy of slavery and genocide.

“The nickel, quarter, dollar bill and two-dollar bill will no longer circulate among Democrats because George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves,” said DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz. “The DNC has also decided to purge the $20 bill because of what Andrew Jackson did to Native Americans. The $10 note, likewise, is forbidden for party members, because Alexander Hamilton signed the Constitution, which perpetuated slavery.”

Wassermann Schultz called on all Democrats to pay for goods and services using only the FDR dime, or the dollar coins bearing the images of Susan B. Anthony or Sacagawea.

Fifties, fives and pennies are still under a longstanding DNC ban because Ulysses S. Grant and Abe Lincoln were both Republicans.

However, the Democrats grant specific exemptions for use of the $100 bill by rap stars and Hollywood entertainment industry figures, because “the Benjamins have become essential to those culturally-valuable lifestyles.”

For all other Democrats, the C-Note is verboten “because Ben Franklin was a shameless capitalist whose rags-to-riches story gives a false impression to children about the power of free markets, and the value of hard work,” she said.

Just some of the legal tender U.S. currency which the Democratic National Committee says its members will no longer use, in hopes of “purging our despicable history.”

That sinking feeling

July 23, 2015


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