Batter up!

August 23, 2014

Between innings, a little league coach took one of his players aside and asked him, “Do you understand what teamwork is?”

“Yes, sir,” said the little boy.

“You understand what cooperation is?” the coach asked. “You understand about things like courtesy, and respect for the rules of the game?”

“Yes, sir,” said the little boy.

“And when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire,” said the coach. “You understand all that?”

“Yes, sir,” said the little boy.

“Good!” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain it to your mother.”

Better than the Oregon variety — and cheaper, too

August 23, 2014

Par for the course

August 22, 2014

King Putt has never let business get in the way of his leisure before — why would he begin now?

“He had just hung up the telephone with the devastated parents before heading in front of the cameras. Unusually emotional, President Obama declared himself ‘heartbroken’ by the brutal murder of an American journalist, James Foley, and vowed to ‘be relentless’ against Islamic radicals threatening to kill another American.

“But as soon as the cameras went off, Mr. Obama headed to his favorite golf course on Martha’s Vineyard, where he is on vacation, seemingly able to put the savagery out of his mind. He spent the rest of the afternoon on the links even as a firestorm of criticism erupted over what many saw as a callous indifference to the slaughter he had just condemned. …

“If Mr. Obama hoped to show America’s enemies that they cannot hijack his schedule, he also showed many of his friends in America that he disdains the politics of appearance. He long ago stopped worrying about what critics say, according to aides, and after the outcry over Wednesday’s game, he defied the critics by golfing again on Thursday, his eighth outing in 11 days on the island. …

“Privately, many Democrats shook their heads at what they considered a judgment error. Ezra Klein, editor in chief of the online news site Vox, who is normally sympathetic to Mr. Obama, wrote on Twitter on Wednesday that ‘golfing today is in bad taste.’ The Daily News published a front-page photograph of a grinning president in a golf cart next to a picture of Mr. Foley’s distraught mother and father under the headline, ‘Prez tees off as Foley’s parents grieve.’” –from The New York Times


Awesome post for read, i hope everyone enjoy — Part 3

August 18, 2014

When I’ve blogged about spam in the past (here and here), fellow bloggers have expressed astonishment that I even look at the stuff in my spam queue before deleting it. I have even been accused of having too much time on my hands, which is not at all the case. I just happen to get a kick out of stuff that reads like encrypted communications between extraterrestrials from some planet in a distant galaxy. Like these:

Thank you for the good writeup. It if truth be told was a entertainment account it. Look complex to more brought agreeable from you! However, how could we keep up a correspondence? Might you kindly decline me a send?

This paragraph is actually a fastidious one it helps new net viewers, who are wishing for blogging.

Normally I do not read through write-up with sites, on the other hand want to state that this write-up extremely compelled us to perform and so! Ones composing flavor has been shocked us.

Excellent troubles totally, you just earned a completely new target audience. Exactly what can you recommend in terms of your own create that you just built some days previously? Virtually any confident?

I truly do trust each of the thoughts you may have shown to your post. These are really effective and may undoubtedly function. However, your discussions are so swift for newbies. Would you be sure to lengthen all of them a little from when?

I’d been indicated this web site by means of the uncle. I am will no longer positive irrespective of whether this set up will be created by method of your pet since nobody realize like precise pertaining to this issues.

You are a strong exceedingly skilled doodlekit. I’ve became a member of the nourish and also crunches with regard to trying to find further of your respective superb write-up. 

I will right away motorola clutch a person’s rss feed once i cannot to seek out ones email registration website link and also e-zine support. Complete you may have almost any?

The item in fact once was any leisure bank account that. Seem complex so that you can much more included pleasant on your part!

The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea.

To tell the truth this became a fantastic advanced post nonetheless as with every fantastic writers there are a few items that could be worked well after. Nevertheless never ever the actual significantly less it turned out interesting.

Occasionally a spammer sounds as if he’s trying to channel Eugène Ionesco or Samuel Beckett:

Jack shall have Jill. What about having a pizza first? Your hand feels cold. The machines will not operate properly. A red tie will match that suit. You will soon get used to the work. What about you? He fell behind with his work. There are mice next to the refrigerator, under the sink and inside the cupboard.

Others attempt to channel Roget, the thesaurus guy:

{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.| I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting. {Very well|Perfectly| Well|Exceptionally well} written!

I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your{email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service. {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize| recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe. {It is|It’s} {appropriate| perfect|the best} time to make some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line} {more than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays| today|lately|as of late}, {yet|but} I {never|by no means} {found|discovered} any {interesting|fascinating| attention-grabbing} article like yours.

Well, if you want articles that are interesting/fascinating/attention-grabbing, you’ve come to the right place. And I’m not the only one who thinks so:

Your stuffs excellent. Continuously tackle this!

I am just really contented to peer this post. Thanks a lot with this particular looking to hint you actually.

It is tremendous blog, I would like to be like you.

I need to declare that this post is amazing, fantastic published and are available with around virtually all crucial infos. 

You could definitely see your skills within the paintings you write. 

I thought it was going to be some boring old publish, but it really compensated for my time. 

I simply want to say I’m all new to weblog and certainly savored you’re website. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your blog.

Just between you and me, everyone should probably be likely to bookmark my blog.

Sometimes a spammer will have harsh words for the search engine that led him to the site:

This is the type of info that are supposed to be shared around the web. Shame on Google for not positioning this put up higher!

Occasionally, someone will be guilt-stricken over his failure to thank me earlier for being so awesome:

I as well as my pals have already been reading through the best tips found on your web page and instantly I got a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to the web blog owner for those strategies. 

Some like to let me know how they stay awake while reading my blog:

I constantly spent my half an hour to read this weblog’s articles or reviews daily along with a mug of coffee.

Truth be told, I think everyone should read bluebird of bitterness with a mug of coffee. Or a cup of tea. Or a glass of wine. Or a shot of brandy. Whatever floats your boat.

Not all spammers write to compliment me, or even to tell me what they drink while they read. In fact, some would like to have me arrested:

I’m not the owner of the site or of the copyrights, but it’s very clear to me that this website is violating many copyrights. Is there a way I can report it under the DMCA? 

Others offer advice on how to make bluebird of bitterness less soporific:

Еverything published was very reasonable. But, think on this, supposе you were to write a killer heаdline? I ain’t saying your informatіon isn’t good, howevеr suppose you added a headline hat gгabbed fοlk’s attention? bluebird of bitterness is kinda vanilla. You might try adding a vіdeo or a piсture or two to grab people inteгested about everything’ve written. 

Once in a while a spammer will even write to whine about spam:

Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane.

I know just how you feel, comrade. My advice: learn to enjoy it.


It’s his party and he’ll lie if he wants to

August 17, 2014

What do you do when you don’t want to take the blame for something that you were boastfully taking credit for just a day or two earlier? The Pinocchio of Pennsylvania Avenue demonstrates:


Darn those security cameras!

August 16, 2014

Reach out and violate someone

August 15, 2014

Remy summarizes everything the TSA is doing wrong, in less than two minutes. (Are you listening, Homeland Security? No, I didn’t think so.)



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 157 other followers