From The People’s Cube.
Mere hours after the Obama Campaign released the political advertisement some are calling the “Romney Killed my Wife” ad, the Romney campaign put together their own quid pro quo version in the spirit of one-upsmanship.
The working title is “Obama Killed My Wife, Got My Teenage Daughter Pregnant, and Ran Over My Dog.”
The video link did not pass the Ministry of Truth’s decency filters due to the slanderous nature of the lies against The One. However, a full transcript is reproduced below:
[Sad Intro Music]
Camera pans and zooms away from offshore oil rig in undisclosed Gulf of Mexico region to focus on middle-aged man standing on the beach.
When President Obama executed the moratorium on offshore drilling, I lost my job and my healthcare. We were grateful for the food stamps, but soon my wife grew ill from a bag of BBQ pork rinds she bought on her way back from the welfare office. We knew that Obama would come through for us thanks to the Affordable Care Act, so we just waited for the cure or check to come in the mail. It never did, and a few months later, my wife passed away.
Without a maternal role model in her life, my daughter hooked up with an Occupy Wall Street guy named “Bong,” who I never really liked. Soon, she became pregnant. As a loyal liberal, I immediately put her in the Prius to take her to Planned Parenthood.
I must have been distracted by all that was going on, because I didn’t look as I backed out of the driveway, until I heard a “Yelp!” When I got out, I saw our family dog, Hope, squished under my back tire.
I voted for Obama in 2008 – three times under different names. But now I don’t think Obama really cares. I haven’t seen any remorse for what he did to my family, except for maybe that moment of pensive contemplation on the 18th hole. He hasn’t answered any of my letters.
I only have one question for my President: Why?
Fade to black
Obligatory disclaimer: “My name is Mitt Romney, and I approved this message.”