On this day in 1950, the comic strip “Peanuts” made its debut, and it ran nearly uninterrupted for half a century. But its characters, like those in most comic strips, never grew up — they remained in a state of perpetual prepubescence. What if they had been allowed to age like the rest of us? Where would they be today?
CHARLIE BROWN: Operates Good Grief Counseling Inc., which specializes in manic-depressives and people who are just having a bad day. Moonlights as a pitching coach at high school and college levels. Married to Marcie. They have a round-headed son who wears glasses.
LINUS: Developer of Security Blanket Software, which is a hot item on the New York Stock Exchange. Worth millions. Actively involved in charitable causes, including the Great Pumpkin 5K Fun Run every Halloween. Only man who makes Bill Gates nervous.
LUCY: Serving her seventh term in Congress. Never married. Claims she hasn’t thought about Schroeder in years, but her ringtone is the theme from Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.
SCHROEDER: After years on the classical performing circuit, he runs a piano bar in Carmel, California. Won’t let anybody lean on his piano.
SALLY: Never quite got over being spurned by Linus. Has a cat named Sweet Baboo. Sells Mary Kay.
PEPPERMINT PATTY: Women’s athletic director at a Midwestern university. Her fashion credo: “Sandals go with everything.”
SNOOPY: In dog years, he’d be 300. Linus has created an endowment at Daisy Hill Puppy farm in Snoopy’s memory.
PIGPEN: Owned a series of office building glass cleaning services, car-washes, janitorial companies, pet groomers, sushi bars and aerospace electronics assembly firms. Failing to find lasting success in any of these ventures, he eventually settled into a lucrative job as property manager of the Chicago slum holdings of political operatives Valerie Jarrett and David Axelrod. Even though Pigpen never dated as a young man, with his newfound success and Democrat party connections, he married noted Hollywood ‘toon Jessica Rabbit and became a frequent White House visitor until he developed an allergy to the dirty Washington environment. He is now U.S. Ambassador to Somalia.
Brilliantly written and very funny post, Bob. I bet we know who else probably has a cat named “Sweet Baboo.”
Not me — my cats are Rachel, Leah, Bessie, Punky, Oscar, and Figaro.
BTW, I didn’t write the Peanuts piece. There were a few versions of it floating about the interwebs, none of which listed the author’s name. I just stole one and tweaked it slightly.
I have a real soft spot for Peanuts. In high school I played the part of Lucy in “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown,” and forty years later, my youngest daughter performed in the same show. We both loved it.