Mercury falling

50 degrees:

People in Florida crank up the heat.

People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

40 degrees:

People in Louisiana put on thermal underwear.

People in Wisconsin have picnics in the park.

30 degrees:

People in South Carolina shiver uncontrollably.

People in Wisconsin have one last cookout before the weather turns cold.

20 degrees:

People in Alabama wear overcoats, mittens, and earmuffs.

People in Wisconsin think about shutting the windows.

10 degrees:

New York landlords finally turn on the heat.

People in Wisconsin switch from short to long sleeves.

10 below zero:

Californians move to Mexico.

People in Wisconsin start drying their laundry indoors.

20 below zero:

Texans are hospitalized with hypothermia.

People in Wisconsin take their winter coats out of storage.

40 below zero:

Politicians put their hands in their own pockets.

People in Wisconsin let their dogs sleep indoors.

60 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

Water in Wisconsin rivers starts to thicken.

80 below zero:

Hell freezes over.

People in Wisconsin say, “Cold enough for you?”

3 Responses to Mercury falling

  1. The other advantage in Wisconsin after the temperature finally reaches minus 10f and colder is your roads no longer have all those summertime chuckholes and you can drive faster than 22 MPH for the first time since LAST winter.

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