If you like your unemployment check, you can keep your unemployment check

For decades, the left has told us that “you can’t legislate morality” — an assertion that is pure codswallop, as anyone with an IQ above room temperature can easily see. What are laws that proscribe theft, vandalism, assault, burglary, driving while intoxicated, rape, armed robbery, and homicide, if not attempts to legislate morality?

Despite the manifest absurdity of the statement, it’s the argument our friends on the left trot out every time someone proposes a law that would, for example, protect the lives of unborn children: Out of the question! That would be legislating morality!! Which you can’t do, because it’s, you know, IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Yet the same folks who insist that it’s impossible to legislate morality maintain that it’s perfectly possible to legislate prosperity. The reason we have poverty is that the minimum wage isn’t high enough! Raise it and the problem will be solved! Yes! Why didn’t we think of that before? We can just legislate poverty away! What are we waiting for?

Matt Walsh imagines how it would work:

Worker: Hi, I’d like to work for you.

Employer: Sorry, the government says we have to pay everyone at least 10.10 an hour. We don’t have any money in our budget to hire more workers at that rate.

Worker: Well, I still need a job. I’ll gladly work for 6 dollars an hour. Deal?

Government: Hold on! You can’t do that. You’re not allowed to sell your services for less than 10.10 an hour!

Worker: But… I’d rather make under 10.10 than be unemployed. Why can’t I enter into a private employment contract with this establishment if we both feel that the arrangement benefits us? We are both consenting parties, aren’t we?

Government: Because that isn’t fair.

Employer: Excuse me, but I’d like to have a say in this conversa-

Government: Enough out of you, business owner! This is between me and the worker.

Employer: Actually, I really think you have nothing to do with-

Government: FAIRNESS! We are decreeing a minimum amount that all people must be paid, regardless of the financial realities of an individual business, and regardless of the actual measurable worth a particular worker represents. If a worker wants to work for less rather than not work at all, we won’t allow it. We are doing this because of fairness and freedom. WHAT DON’T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS?

Worker: Well, if I can’t work than I guess I’ll have to start selling my stuff. Anybody want to buy my TV for 100 dollars?

Buyer: Awesome! I’ll take it!

Government: WAIT! You aren’t selling that thing for less than 200 dollars. This is for your sake. You deserve 200 dollars for that TV.

Worker: But nobody will buy it for that much and I really don’t think it’s worth 200 dollars…

Government: Look, just take some of this welfare until a high paying job falls out of the sky and lands on you like an Asteroid of Fairness from the Kumbaya Galaxy. (continue reading)

For further enlightenment:

Obama’s Attack on Workers, by Arnold Ahlert

December Jobs Disaster: The Workforce Collapses Again, by John Hayward

Be for Work, by Mona Charen

Our Clueless President, by Michael Reagan

Washington’s Addiction to Uncle Ben’s Funny Money™, by Stephen Green

Equality Versus Liberty, by John Stossel

A Millennial’s Rolling Stone Rant Offers Up Some Tired Old “Solutions”, by Jonah Goldberg

The Idol of Equality, by Victor Davis Hanson

The “Trickle-Down” Lie, by Thomas Sowell

Why People Fail, by Daniel Greenfield

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