Stan and Lois had been married for 65 years. Although well into their eighties, they were both in excellent health, due primarily to Lois’s insistence on a healthful diet and regular exercise.
But one day while walking home from the health food store, they were hit by a truck, and the next thing they knew, they were standing together just outside the pearly gates.
St. Peter welcomed them and escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion and said, “This will be your new home.”
Stunned by the beauty of the place, Stan asked St. Peter how much it was going to cost.
“Nothing at all,” St. Peter replied. “This is heaven.”
Stan looked out the window, and saw that right outside the mansion was a championship golf course, more beautiful than any that existed on earth.
“What are the greens fees?” he asked.
“This is heaven,” St. Peter said. “You can play anytime you want, and it won’t cost a cent.”
Then St. Peter took Stan and Lois to the dining room, where they saw a lavish buffet set out with all kinds of delectable foods – juicy steaks, exotic seafood, gourmet cheeses, fine wines, freshly-baked breads and rolls, rich desserts — the works.
“Don’t even ask,” St. Peter said. “This is heaven, and it’s all free for you to enjoy.”
“Where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?” Stan asked.
“There aren’t any,” St. Peter said. “In heaven, you can eat and drink whatever you like, whenever you like, as much as you like, and you’ll never get fat and never get sick.”
“No gym to work out at?” Stan asked.
“Not unless you want to,” St. Peter replied.
“No testing my blood pressure?”
“Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.”
Stan glared at Lois and said, “You and your bran muffins! We could have been here ten years ago!”