Ballad of the Global Warming Titanic

January 5, 2014

By John Hayward.

(sung to the tune of the “Gilligan’s Island” theme song)

Now sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
They traveled to Antarctica
Aboard a Russian ship

The chief was a global warming man
The skipper wasn’t so sure
But activists set sail that day
For a propaganda tour

The water started getting cold
The frozen ship was stuck
Their theories called for melting ice
But they were out of luck… yes, they were out of luck…

The ship ran aground on this block of unexpected ice
With embarrassment….
And skeptics too…
But we spend millions on a hoax
While movie stars
Professors and politicians
Give us contempt and bile

So this is the tale of climate change
It’s here for a long, long time
No matter how much their theories fail
Truth has an uphill climb

The government and Hollywood too
Will do their very best
To make us all uncomfortable
In our sustainable nest

No phone, no lights, no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
As primitive as can be

The elites won’t join us though, my friends
They’re sure to live in style
While we give up our light bulbs
Recant your climate change denial!


A poem for Columbus Day

October 14, 2013

by Ramon Montaigne

Columbus sailed the ocean blue
Back in 1492.
He sailed across and spotted land,
A beach, and people on the sand.

He called them Indians because
He had no idea where he was,
India was just a guess.
When in doubt, declare success.

There goes the neighborhood.


Sandbox Diplomacy

September 5, 2013

From Cairo to Damascus,
From Riyadh to Bahrain,
Each time Obama dithers
He makes his weakness plain.

He cannot make decisions.
He knows not how to act.
His strategies are hopeless,
His tactics inexact.

He starts with senseless bluster.
He draws a scarlet line.
He lays a demarcation,
And waves his sharpened tine.

Upon his foe’s traversal,
His rhetoric is stilled.
His promises are broken,
His words lie unfulfilled.

His enemies are strengthened,
His allies left impaired.
He weaves a rope of bombast,
And leaves himself ensnared.

Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Used with permission.


No more clowning around

August 18, 2013

Phony scandal.

Real scandal.

Tuffy Gessling, the rodeo clown who got himself fired for having the effrontery to poke fun at the first biracial president, should be thankful that his job was all he lost. He might have ended up in the slammer, like that luckless schmuck who made the video that Barry, Hillary, Susan, and Jay all blamed for the Benghazi massacre. Remember that guy?

Still, there’s hope for Mr. Gessling, if he submits to state-mandated sensitivity training. The Bard of Murdock comments:

I’m off to get retraining
In matters entertaining,
So I can work the circuit at the fair.
My previous engagement,
A suitable arrangement,
Turned out a catastrophic bit of fare.

I hesitate to mention,
I broke the new convention
And did a bit the fair would not condone.
I wasn’t quite discerning
In what I did concerning
The man who sits atop the gilded throne.

The present situation,
For those of my vocation,
Constrains us from a mocking word or deed,
About the politicians,
In loftiest positions,
Whose playbook is the latest leftist creed.

So further education,
And mental reformation,
Is on the docket for my chosen trade.
And when we have been bettered,
Our presentations fettered,
We once again can join the clown parade.

(Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Used with permission.)

Rodeo clowns aren’t the only ones being sent off to re-education camp, by the way. In Oregon, the state’s Labor Commissioner wants to send a couple of bakers there as well, to cure them of their objection to same-sex marriage. Because no one could possibly have sound, rational reasons for opposing the redefinition of marriage; they must be motivated by ignorance, bigotry, and hatred of anyone who’s different from them. We know, because the left has been telling us so for years.

I just hope that when the thought police come to arrest me, they’ll let me go to the same re-education camp those bakers are being sent to. At least that way I should be able to get a decent cupcake now and then.


Race to the bottom

August 11, 2013

While the country and the world continue to go to hell, Senate majority geezer Harry Reid still suspects that opposition to the policies of Barack Obama has nothing to do with the substance of those policies, and everything to do with the quantity of melanin in the president’s skin. Yes, despite nearly five years’ accumulation of evidence that the Kenyan Kid is the least qualified, least competent schlub ever to infest the Oval Office, his obsequious boot-licking lackeys continue to play the race card.
The indispensable Bard of Murdock comments:

The reset button didn’t work.
The Arab Street’s aflame.
ObamaCare is off its rails.
The jobless rate’s the same.

The Peeping Toms of government
Are snooping through our mail.
Michelle is pushing little kids
To feed on sprouts and kale.

The IRS and FEC
Are playing off the sheet.
Our consulates and embassies
Are forced into retreat.

But if you deign to criticize,
The mammoth mess we’re in,
Your motive must be based upon
The color of his skin.

For only willful prejudice
And bigotry of mind,
Prevents embrace of presidents
Who lead us from behind.

Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Used with permission.


Racist jury fails to convict creepy-ass cracker who stalked and murdered an innocent choirboy

July 15, 2013

The Bard of Murdock comments:

When will we hear the President
Say if he had a son,
Who chose to act in self-defense,
He’d look like Zimmerman?

When will the modern media
Stop baiting based on race,
And trying to convict a man
Before he pleads his case?

When will the Sharptons of the world
With sound and fury say,
That race and ethnic heritage
May not have been at play?

When will the prosecuting class
Misconduct set aside,
And see to it that charges laid
To evidence be tied?

Perhaps we cannot have that now,
But, be that as it may,
Thank God we get to celebrate
With Zimmerman today.

(Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Reprinted with permission.)

For further enlightenment:

How a Miami School Crime Cover-Up Policy Led to Trayvon Martin’s Death, by Robert Stacy McCain

Is This Still America? by Thomas Sowell

In Zimmerman Post Mortems, Confusion Reigns, by John Hinderaker

There But for the Grace of God, by Jack Dunphy

“Mostly Peaceful” Riots After Zimmerman Verdict, by John Hayward

The Election of a Black President Has Meant Nothing, by Dennis Prager

Timeline: How the Press Prosecuted Zimmerman, by John Nolte

A Terrible Mind That Has Been Wasted Proves the Jury Right, by Big Fur Hat

Protester incites crowd: ‘White people aren’t afraid of us anymore’, by Joe Saunders

Journalism Beneath Contempt, by Andrew Klavan

Eric Holder’s Reign of Racial Terror, by Arnold Ahlert

What Do You Do When the Oppressed Are Their Own Worst Oppressors? by David P. Goldman

Trayvon mythology and anti-civilization, by John Hayward

Why the MSM Doesn’t Care About Black Kids, by Ben Shapiro

What Democrats Won’t Say About Race, by Mark Alexander

To Avoid Looking Like a Criminal, Don’t Commit a Crime, by Ann Coulter

Ten Post-Zimmerman Lessons, by Mark Davis

In 513 Days Between Trayvon Shooting and Zimmerman Verdict, 11,106 Blacks Murdered by Other Blacks, by Soopermexican

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The Lifer

June 10, 2013

Rep. John Dingell (D-MI) is now the longest-serving member of Congress in history. As of last Friday, he surpassed the previous longevity record, which had been set by Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia. Dingell took office on December 14, 1955 after winning a special election to fill the seat his father had held for more than 20 years.

The Bard of Murdock comments:

While others pause to praise the man
Who’s given sixty years,
We might recall what he has wrought
Before we join the cheers.

An advocate for government,
With bureaucratic heart,
In every regulation passed
Our John has played a part.

The EPA, the FDA,
And now Obamacare!
For every bit of overreach
Our Dingell has been there.

And how he prospers through the years
While moving up in rank;
The latest calculations show
Five million in the bank.

For us, the hand of government.
For him, a fortune gained.
Forgive me if my accolades
Might seem a bit restrained.

While Johnny pauses to reflect
And hear his life acclaimed,
For what he’s done with sixty years
He ought to be ashamed.

Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Used with permission.


The paper chase

May 24, 2013

The BBC Business News reports:

Venezuela’s National Assembly has backed plans to import 39 million rolls of toilet paper, in an effort to relieve a chronic shortage.

Lawmakers voted to approve a $79m credit for the country’s ministry of commerce, which will also be used to buy toothpaste and soap.

The products are currently in short supply in Venezuelan shops.

The oil-rich nation relies on imports, but currency controls have restricted its ability to pay for foreign goods.

President Nicolas Maduro, who won a narrow majority in April’s presidential elections, maintains that the country’s periodic shortages of basic goods are the result of a conspiracy by the opposition and rich sectors of society. (continue reading

The Bard of Murdock comments:

The socialist caucus
Now running Caracas
Is on the hot seat in the polls.
The national issue?
A shortage of tissue
That common folk purchase in rolls.

The problem is vivid.
The public is livid,
As price controls wipe out supply.
Now people are queuing
In hopes of accruing
A super absorbent two-ply.

The previous autumn
The market hit bottom,
When need far exceeded demand.
Which happens when masses
Are ruled by asses,
And finish with nothing in hand.

As public opinion
Throughout the dominion
Continues its negative trend,
The socialist caucus
Now running Caracas
Says all will be well in the end.

Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Reprinted with permission.


He had a lover’s quarrel with the world

March 26, 2013

Robert Frost, who was born on this day in 1874, was a college dropout, an unsuccessful farmer, and the finest poet this country ever produced. He won four Pulitzer Prizes for his poetry back when the Pulitzer still meant something, and he’s one of the most-quoted and most-anthologized poets that ever lived. One reason for his enduring popularity is the fact that he continued to employ traditional poetic forms when many of his contemporaries were abandoning them for more experimental forms. Frost once said that he would as soon play tennis with the net down as write in free verse.

In honor of his birthday, here is a choral setting by Randall Thompson of one of Frost’s best-known poems, “The Road Not Taken.”

(If you’d like to hear the complete work “Frostiana,” of which the above is an excerpt, an excellent performance of it can be found here.)


Be careful what you wish for

March 23, 2013
Well, wonders never cease — for the first time in four years, the United States Senate has actually passed a budget. And given that the party of big enormous gigantic government controls the Senate, it’s pretty much what you’d expect. The Bard of Murdock comments:
Copyright 2013 by The Bard of Murdock. Reprinted with permission.


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