Prey on words
May 18, 2013
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Posted by Bob
Because it’s March 14, that’s why
March 14, 2013
Pi in the sky
Empty pi plate
Pi plate with pi in it
Pi squared
How much to tip the waitress who brought you your pi
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Posted by Bob
He certainly seems well bred
January 11, 2013
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Posted by Bob
Someone left the irony on
January 1, 2013
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Posted by Bob
Truth in labeling
December 31, 2012
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Posted by Bob
Cat nuts roasting by an open fire
December 26, 2012
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Posted by Bob
Christmas carol quiz
December 9, 2012I wrote this one a few years back, when a friend of mine who was giving a Christmas party asked me to come up with some party games. Here are the titles of fifteen familiar Christmas carols, which have been obfuscated with a plethora of highfalutin language. See if you can decipher them.
1. Palestinian municipality of unimpressive size
2. Seraphic beings originating from a celestial location
3. I espied a trio of sea-going vessels
4. Somewhere sort of far off, in a feedbox
5. Spruce up the gathering place with bunches of seasonal greenery
6. Depart, and proclaim the news from an elevated location
7. May the Supreme Deity maintain you in a state of jollity, fellas
8. It took place at 12:00 under a very starry sky
9. Unbounded happiness to the inhabitants of this planet
10. Complete absence of nocturnal noise
11. I speculate in astonishment, even as I perambulate aimlessly
12. On a particular occasion in a certain village associated with a prominent Hebrew monarch
13. The time from December 25 to January 6
14. Seasonal musical composition for hollow metal objects, typically having the shape of an inverted cup widening at the lip, that sound a clear musical note when struck, typically by means of a clapper inside
15. Seasonal musical composition for percussion instruments, typically cylindrical, barrel-shaped, or bowl-shaped, with a taut membrane over one or both ends, sounded by being struck with hands, sticks, or mallets
❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆
ANSWERS: 1. O Little Town of Bethlehem; 2. Angels from the Realms of Glory; 3. I Saw Three Ships; 4. Away in a Manger; 5. Deck the Hall with Boughs of Holly; 6. Go, Tell It on the Mountain; 7. God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen; 8. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear; 9. Joy to the World; 10. Silent Night; 11. I Wonder as I Wander; 12. Once in Royal David’s City; 13. The Twelve Days of Christmas; 14. Carol of the Bells; 15. Carol of the Drums
SCORING
12 – 15 correct: Pretty good, but don’t get a big head; it was an easy quiz
8 – 11 correct: You need to go Christmas caroling more often
4 – 7 correct: I suspect you just don’t like music
fewer than 4 correct: Is your name Ebenezer?
Feel free to post your score in the comment section below, assuming it’s something you’re proud of.
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Posted by Bob
Jihadi Mother of the Year
April 28, 2013What kind of bedtime stories did Zubeidat Tsarnaeva read to her sons, Tamerlan and Dzhokhar, when they were growing up? Here are some possible titles, gleaned from Twitter (WARNING: warped and possibly offensive humor):
The Cat in the Hijab
Aladdin and the Magic Pressure Cooker
The Little Terrorist That Could
Green Eggs and Hamas
Go, Bomb, Go!
Honey, I Blew Up the Marathon
Food Stamps for Fareed
Bombi
101 Damnations
If You Give a Mouse a Cooker
Al-Qaeda in Wonderland
Frog and Toad Are Jihadis
Charlie and the Ball Bearing Factory
Little Dead Riding Hood
Are You There, Allah? It’s Me, Achmed
Oh, the Places You’ll Bomb!
Sisterhood of the Traveling Backpacks
Abdul and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Cinderallah
And to Think That I Bombed Them on Mulberry Street!
We’re Going on an Infidel Hunt
The Hundred Burqas
Harold and the Purple Car Bomb
Chechen Little
The Teddy Bears’ Jihad
Bob the Bomb Builder
The Boy Who Cried Allahu Akbar
There’s a Rocket in My Pocket
Ramona Quimby, Age 8, RIP
Blasting Caps for Sale
Guess How Much I Hate You
The Emperor’s New Exploding Vest
Huma Has Two Mullahs
Charlotte’s Burqa
The Berenstain Bears and the Sleeper Cell
Horton Hatches a Plot
Tales of a Fourth Grade Suicide Bomber
Little Mosque on the Prairie
Cloudy with a Chance of Shrapnel
King Solomon’s Land Mines
Now We Are Dead
Sharia, Plain and Tall
Tikki Tikki Time Bomb
Make Way for Muslims
A Series of Unfortunate Man-Caused Disasters