Keeping up with the Joneses

December 15, 2017


Friday happy dance

December 15, 2017


It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

December 14, 2017


Making spirits bright

December 14, 2017


Christmas play prominently features essential oils in product placement deal

December 13, 2017

From The Babylon Bee.

UPLAND, CA—In a lucrative product placement deal, Faithcurrents Community Church prominently featured several doTerra essential oils at several key moments during its annual nativity play, sources confirmed Monday.

Rather than bringing gold, frankincense, and myrrh, the Magi gifted doTerra starter kits, special peppermint blends, and a premium oil diffuser to help with Baby Jesus’s colic. The Magi took several minutes to conspicuously display the products and describe them in great detail for the audience while presenting them to the young Savior.

“And this here is what every young Messiah needs: a full set of doTerra essential oils, also available for purchase in the lobby for just $29.99,” one of the Magi said excitedly, holding up a premium starter kit as the church’s camera crew zoomed in to give the crowd a good look. “I never leave for a historic journey from the Far East without one.”

Another scene had the shepherds calming their fussy sheep with an essential oil diffuser, and featured the angels singing about several exciting new essential oil blends entitled “Peace” and “Goodwill,” both of which were also available for purchase in the church’s foyer after the performance.

“On earth peace, goodwill toward men! And if you really want peace and goodwill, you’ll upgrade to our special diffuser pack, so you can have true joy this holiday season all throughout your home,” one angel said.

During the customary altar call invitation at the end of the show, Pastor Lucas’s wife Jenna reportedly spent 15 minutes pleading with the crowd to start their own doTerra business and “take control of your lives,” as the choir sang “Jesus, I Come.”

According to sources within the church, several prominent essential oil brands were involved in a tight bidding war for the featured spot in the performance, with doTerra’s rumored bid of $1.3 million narrowly beating out a competitive offer from a Young Living rep at the church.


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December 12, 2017


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December 11, 2017


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