Frank was a veterinarian who also served as sheriff of the small town where he lived. One night his phone rang, and the caller said, “Please come right away! We need you!”
Frank said, “Do you need me as the sheriff, or as a vet?”
“Both,” said the caller. “We can’t get our dog’s mouth open, and there’s a burglar in it!”
It’s the birthday of German composer Richard Wagner (1813-1883), and if you’ve never had the experience of watching or listening to his magnum opus, Der Ring des Nibelungen, which requires approximately sixteen hours to perform, Anna Russell’s executive summary will save you about fifteen and a half hours. You’re welcome.
On Fr. Gregory’s day off he went to the golf course dressed in his civvies. He was just getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a stranger approached and asked if he could join him. Fr. Greg usually played alone, but he agreed to make it a twosome.
Fr. Greg and the stranger were even after the first two holes. The stranger suggested that since they seemed to be pretty evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole? Fr. Greg had never been much for betting, but he agreed.
The stranger won the remaining sixteen holes with ease, and Fr. Greg handed over $80.00. The stranger then confessed that he was actually a pro who liked to pick on suckers, whereupon Fr. Greg revealed that he was a parish priest.
The pro was embarrassed and apologetic and tried to return Fr. Greg’s money, but the priest refused to take it, insisting that the other had won it fair and square. Still, the pro felt guilty for having taken advantage of a priest, and asked if there were anything he could do to make it up to him.
Fr. Greg suggested that he come to mass on Sunday and make a donation to the church. The pro agreed to this. He thanked the priest, picked up his clubs, and turned to leave.
“And while you’re at it,” Fr. Greg called after him, “bring your mother and father with you, and I’ll marry them.”