bluebird of bitterness

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  It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ―Max Eastman

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  To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

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• home sweet home

  
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  Bob's sister Hannah

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  Bob's sister Ada

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  Bob's brother Otto

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  Bob's sister Eve

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  Bob's sister Nan

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  A baby picture of Bob and his siblings (clockwise from upper left: Otto, Eve, Hannah, Ada, Bob, and Nan)

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  Bob's childhood home

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  Bob's mom and dad

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  Bob in his youth

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  Bob's Uncle Ralph and Aunt Edna

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  Bob's cousin Archibald

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  Bob's stepbrother Herbie (who really needs to quit smoking)

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  Bob's cousin Chester

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  Bob's Great Uncle Norbert and Great Aunt Phyllis

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  Bob's cousin Saffron (who will do anything for a drink)

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  Bob's sister-in-law Sybil

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  Bob's cousin Thorndike

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  Bob's brother-in-law Vinnie

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  Bob's cousin Orville, who loves the Green Bay Packers

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  Bob's nieces Lulu and Bitsy, the biker chicks

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  Bob's stepsister Eloise, with the twins, Rudy and Trudy

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  Bob's Uncle Henry and Aunt Rowena

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  Bob's niece Esmerelda (who likes to live dangerously)

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  Bob's Great Uncle Arthur up in Saskatchewan

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  Bob's cousin Louie, the grackle of grumpiness

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  Bob's nephew Virgil, who loves sports

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  Miss Screech, Bob's journalism teacher

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  Bob's second cousin Schlomo in Brooklyn

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  Bob's Uncle Seymour and Aunt Bernice

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  Bob's nephew Baxter

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  Nigel, Bob's pen pal in New Zealand

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  Bob's sister-in-law Delphine, who volunteers at the animal shelter

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  Percy the Pickpocket, Bob's third cousin once removed (the relative no one likes to talk about... every family has one)

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  The Bluebird of Happiness (no relation to Bob)

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  A pair of boobies (also no relation to Bob, but included for readers who desire titillation)

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  A pair of tits (in case the boobies were insufficiently titillating)

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  Bluebird Bitter™, the beer they named for Bob

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