For those of you who still have any money, be aware of the next expected business mergers so you can get in on the ground floor and make some serious profits:
FedEx will merge with UPS to become FedUP.
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace will merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers will merge to become Poly Warner Cracker.
3M will merge with Goodyear to become MMM Good.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Fairchild Electronics will merge with Honeywell Computers to become Fairwell Honeychild.
Knotts Berry Farm, the National Organization for Women, and John Deere will merge to become Knott NOW Deere.
YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge to become YouTwitFace.
Victoria’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge to become Titty Titty Bang Bang.