When insults had class

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” –Abraham Lincoln

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” –Moses Hadas

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” –Groucho Marx

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” –Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” –George Bernard Shaw, to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” –Winston Churchill, in response

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” –Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” –John Bright

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” –Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” –Paul Keating

“It had been said of Crispin Scrope with considerable justice that if men were dominoes, he would be the double blank.” –P.G. Wodehouse

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” –Irvin S. Cobb

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” –Jack E. Leonard

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. ” –Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” –James Reston, about Richard Nixon

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” –Winston Churchill, about Clement Atlee

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” –Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” –Mark Twain

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts — for support rather than illumination.” –Andrew Lang

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” –Clarence Darrow

“He had delusions of adequacy.” — Walter Kerr

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” –William Faulkner, about Ernest Hemingway

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” –Ernest Hemingway, about William Faulkner

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” –Mark Twain

 

7 Responses to When insults had class

  1. I ❤ Winston Churchill…he and Dorothy Parker would have made for interesting dinner conversation.

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  2. Auntie Lib says:

    Love this blog! Best place to come for smiles and giggles. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  3. Freedom, by the way says:

    Thanks for an intelligent smile!

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  4. Bob Mack says:

    Great list, which I intend to keep for possible future use. Here’s a few from the net, attribution unknown:

    Your red shirt goes well with your eyes…

    Save your breath…You’ll need it to blow up your date.

    He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

    I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

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