How to get faster service

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to wait for hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch on the front of my shirt that I’d bought off the Internet. When I got to the E.R., most of the people in the waiting room got up and left — I guess they decided they weren’t that sick after all. Cut at least three hours off my waiting time.

It also worked at the DMV. Saved me four hours.

Shouldn’t have worn it to McDonalds, though. The whole crew skedaddled and l never got my Big Mac.

Here’s the patch. Guaranteed to get you faster service almost anywhere you go.

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