California vs. Texas

Here is a glossary of terms for Texans who may find themselves in conversation with a Californian, and have no idea what the heck the other person is talking about:

CA: Weapons arsenal
TX: Gun collection

CA: Endangered wetlands
TX: Swamp

CA: Undocumented worker
TX: Illegal alien

CA: Cruelty-free materials
TX: Synthetic fiber

CA: Heavily armed
TX: Well-protected

CA: Commonsense gun control
TX: Firearms confiscation plot

CA: Nonviable tissue mass
TX: Unborn baby

CA: Open-minded
TX: Liberal

CA: Narrow-minded
TX: Conservative

CA: Fairness
TX: Socialism

CA: Equality
TX: Socialism

CA: Progressivism
TX: Socialism

CA: Healthcare reform
TX: Socialism

CA: Multicultural community
TX: High-crime neighborhood

CA: Rich
TX: Employed

CA: Very rich
TX: Works two jobs

CA: Disadvantaged
TX: Welfare chiseler

CA: Dangerous extremist
TX: Patriot

CA: High-capacity magazine
TX: Standard-capacity magazine

CA: Lies
TX: Policy differences

CA: Fair trade coffee
TX: Overpriced yuppie coffee

CA: Illegal hazardous explosives
TX: Fireworks

CA: Oppressed victim
TX: Criminal

CA: Reintroduced wolves
TX: Livestock killers

CA: Affirmative action
TX: Racial preferences

CA: Eco-friendly illumination
TX: Poisonous mercury light bulb

CA: Truant
TX: Home schooler

CA: Racist
TX: Insufficiently admiring of Obama

CA: Public interest group
TX: Left-wing organization

CA: Special interest group
TX: Right-wing organization

CA: Draconian budget cut
TX: Slight reduction in rate of growth

CA: Profiteering
TX: Not losing money

CA: Fully fund
TX: Write blank check

CA: Hate speech
TX: Criticizing a liberal

CA: Censorship
TX: Government refusal to fund art

CA: Exploitation
TX: Employment

CA: Bipartisanship
TX: Conservatives caving in to liberals

CA: Right to privacy
TX: Abortion

CA: Religious fanatic
TX: Churchgoer

CA: Paying one’s fair share
TX: Higher taxes

CA: Investment for the future
TX: Higher taxes

CA: Fiscal Stimulus
TX: Higher taxes

CA: Accepted facts
TX: Bulls**t

7 Responses to California vs. Texas

  1. 49erDweet says:

    CA: Public Education
    TX: Socialism Training

    CA: Higher Education
    TX: Socialism Intern Program

    CA: SWAT Team Action
    TX: Routine Patrol

    CA: Interstate Freeway
    TX: Toll Booth Lane

    CA: San Francisco
    TX: Austin


  2. Otis P. Driftwood says:

    LOL – these are great – and on the money.


  3. Freedom, by the way says:

    Love it!


  4. […] While it’s aimed at the folks from Texas, it could well apply to any of us who live in non-Bolshevik areas across the fruited plain, so why not head on over to bob’s joint and take a gander. […]


  5. fool4Jesus says:

    And people wonder why I went in the Navy when I turned 17. North Hollywood was California, full throttle.


  6. fool4Jesus says:

    In 1970, sorry I forgot what eon.


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