Are you a Tea Party sympathizer? Do you think our nation’s budget woes are due to runaway government spending? Then according to Joe Biden, you are a hostage-taking terrorist. Since his recent statement comparing tea partiers to terrorists, Biden has back-pedaled a little, claiming that he didn’t actually call tea partiers “terrorists” — he only said they were “acting like terrorists.” (If that sounds to you like a distinction without a difference, you’re not alone.) Still, Biden did accuse GOP leaders of holding “guns to [the Democrats’] heads,” which is kind of the same thing.
Other members of Biden’s party also employed violent metaphors to express their displeasure with Republicans. Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) said, “The Tea Partiers and the GOP have made their slash and burn lunacy clear…. The arsonists must be stopped.” Rep. Mike Doyle (D-PA) claimed that Republicans “have no compunction about blowing up the economy to get what they want.” “We have negotiated with terrorists,” Doyle whined. “This small group of terrorists have [sic] made it impossible to spend any money.”
Earth to Doyle: In case you hadn’t noticed, the U.S. is broke. The till is empty, the IOUs are piled up to the stratosphere, and unemployment is so high that if there were a Republican in the White House the lamestream media would be saying that we were in the midst of another Great Depression. This is the sort of situation where not spending any more money is actually kind of a smart thing to do, hard as that may be for big spenders in Congress to comprehend.
The Bard of Murdock sums up the situation:
And ten times that in debt,
Would make an honest congressman
Break out in hives and sweat.But some have found the antidote
To wipe out that disease:
Just borrow ’til the country’s broke,
Then up the tax and fees.This miracle of medicine
Was surely on display,
As Doyle from the Quaker state
Got up to have his say.
He lashed out at the GOP
And tossed out in the end:
“That little group of terrorists
Reduced what we can spend!”
Perhaps Mike is a little off
Without his remedy.
He just can’t find an equal cure
In milk or herbal tea.
But since the Hippocratic Oath
Says first to do no harm,
Perhaps Mike needs a padded cell
Out at the funny farm.
I think that in those padded rooms
One finds a kind of peace.
Just ask Joe Biden if he knows:
He’s out on work release.