You might be a Californian if…

…you make $150,000 a year and still can’t afford a house.

…you get on a bus and are surprised to hear two people carrying on a conversation in English.

…your child’s first-grade teacher has purple hair and a nose ring.

…you can’t remember — is pot legal?

…you’re invited to a baby shower for two mothers, their surrogate, and their sperm donor.

…you have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

…you know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

…you can’t remember — is pot legal?

…a really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

…gas costs a dollar more per gallon than anywhere else in the U.S.

…your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

…your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S&M, and your Avon lady is a guy in drag.

…you can’t remember — is pot really legal?

…you leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.

…you pass an elementary school playground and the children are all on their cell phones.

…it’s barely sprinkling outside, but you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

…hey, is pot legal, or what???

…both you and your dog have therapists.

8 Responses to You might be a Californian if…

  1. […] Bob has the low down: …you make $150,000 a year and still can’t afford a house. […]

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  2. Freedom, by the way says:

    Laughing! What would the rest of us do without CA to make fun of, I wonder?

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  3. 49erDweet says:

    As a native Californian I totally understand, and forgive you. Pot – I mean PART of it is true. And it’s reasonable, too. After all, out here we giggle quite a bit when we consider cheeseheads, so fair is fair. 🙂

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  4. BPatMan says:

    … you have taken your dog in for gender reassignment surgery.

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  5. Thank you Bob for making me laugh. These are great!

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  6. Ouch… “you have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.”
    Not quite; however, those are two of my favorites… Not originally from CA and not there now.

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