(The following appeared on Planet Moron on September 17, 2013.)
Largely made up of disaffected 20-something college graduates from elite universities, the OWS movement was a textbook example of Marxist class struggle in which the top 10% of society rises up against the top 1% in righteous fury and demands in the name of common human decency that which is the most fundamental of all human rights:
The right to not have to pay off your college loans.
So, what happened to OWS and why does it appear to be a shell of its former self? Personally we think it was the same peril that awaits many popular uprisings in their vulnerable early stages:
Irreconcilable conflict among the drum groups.
The Bay of Pigs? A disaster primarily because the counter-revolutionary forces that were supposed to come to the aid of the commandos landing on the beach were still trying to settle on broadly acceptable nighttime drumming curfews.
However, according to reporter Rosie Gray who covered OWS for the Village Voice at the time, the number one problem was obvious:
The Radiohead hoax.
Look, if you’re going to protest for fundamental societal changes resulting in a reordering of the relationship between the individual and the state, you can’t make people believe that if they work hard enough, and commit to the cause, that maybe just this one time, they’ll be able to see their favorite art rock band live, only to have it turn out to be an elaborate prank. It’s just way too much of a bummer.
And so happy 2nd Birthday, Occupy Wall Street! You may not have had any noticeable lasting impact, but you do have a twitter account.
Now shave off that scruff, put on a decent shirt, and go get a job.