From The People’s Cube.
Comrades, President Obama needs your help to raise everyone’s awareness of how the government shutdown is utterly ruining everyone’s lives and destroying everything in its path, and all at the behest of those greedy, evil anarchists, arsonists, extortionists, bomb-throwers, flame-throwers, terrorists, fearmongers, hatemongers, hostage-takers, killers, murderers, and thieves that make up the Tea Party Republicans, who are holding their guns, including assault weapons, to the heads of the American people, strapping explosives to the chests of children, and chowing down on kittens and puppies and bunnies while forcing everyone else to starve to death!
How can you help? By clicking on this link and sharing your courageous story of how the government shutdown has affected you, or more specifically, what the Republicans are doing to terrorize and torture you and take away your right to all the free stuff that makes America great!
Only tales of terror, woe, desperation and despair will be accepted. Your story must include at least one sentence blaming Republicans. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, facts and coherence are not important—what IS important is how horribly you are suffering!
We also accept photo selfies of you holding up a sign telling Republicans in your own unique way that you want your government back.
Undocumented/Aspiring Americans, Non-Aspiring Non-Americans, and children of all ages are encouraged to submit! As you can see at the above link, there is absolutely nothing that says you must be at least 18 years of age or a U.S. citizen to share your story—because let’s face it, the shutdown affects EVERYONE on Earth!
We will not accept any of the following: Anything that blames Obama and/or the Democrats. Any accounts of self-reliance. Of how people are making do. Of the many ways people are managing to get by without all that government, in its benevolent goodness and good benevolence, provides. Of the mythical resourcefulness that conservatives claim dwell inside every human as some sort of God-given free will crapola. Anyone who says the government shutdown is affecting them in these or other so-called “positive” ways is a ten-Pinocchio, raging, flaming Pants-on-Fire LIAR!