If you like your health care plan, you’re wrong

(The following appeared on Planet Moron on October 29, 2013.)

There has been a growing controversy this week as millions of people are discovering that they are losing the health insurance they like as Obamacare regulations take hold. Many are confused, since President Obama had promised on repeated occasions that, if “you like your plan, you can keep your plan. Period.”

In fact, he specifically said, “Let me repeat this. Nothing in our plan requires you to change what you have.”

Sure, at first glance, it appears as if The President was being less than completely truthful about Obamacare, but fortunately, the problem isn’t with the law. As White House advisor Valerie Jarrett explains, the problem is that insurance companies are following the law.

FACT: Nothing in #Obamacare forces people out of their health plans. No change is required unless insurance companies change existing plans.

Those SOBs will stop at nothing to comply with the law, even if it mean you can’t keep your existing health plan. What’s their excuse, “I was just following orders?” Let’s see, where have we heard that before? Oh yeah.


Okay, sure, so the Administration knew that you would lose the plan that you liked, and even wrote the regulations to make sure of it, but did you ever consider the possibility that when the The President said you would get to keep to your health care plan, he might not have been talking about you specifically? Maybe he was talking to someone else in the room, perhaps Valerie Jarrett.

What if you were sitting next to a couple at dinner and the woman said, I love you, would you immediately assume she meant you as well? (Note: She doesn’t. BTDT.)

And besides, the issue isn’t really whether or not you like your plan, it’s whether or not you’re too stupid to want a better, more expensive plan. For example, let’s say there has never been any history of mental illness in your family and you show no signs whatsoever in yourself, so you decided you don’t want to have to pay for mental health benefits.

Well, that just proves you’re crazy, and probably should be required to pay for mental health benefits.

Think of it as the Catch-22 of Obamacare.

And then there’s the pediatric dental care that 55-year-old single men have been living without for far too long.

We’re fortunate that President Obama is around to tell us what we need.

So, to review, President Obama did not lie when he said if you like your health care plan, you can keep it. After all, Vulcans can’t lie. They can, however exaggerate.

So, he exaggerated.

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