by Ibrahim al-Lincoln, DP official Muslim Civil War re-enactor
(WASHINGTON) — Reeling from a week that saw stinging revelations of the Obama administration’s deviousness and cover-ups involving crucial information on the attacks on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, the White House announced today that the administration has hired none other than Hall of Famer O. J. Simpson to track down the real perpetrators behind the deadly attacks, once and for all.
Surprisingly, the White House admitted that hiring Simpson, with his notoriously remarkable detective skills, was done to help not only in its search for who the leaders of the September 11th, 2012 attacks on the U.S. compound that left Libyan ambassador Christopher Stevens and three other Americans dead, but also help it repair the damage done in the wake of last week’s release of incriminating e-mails linking the White House to the (cover-up) talking points about Benghazi and testimony from former Air Force General Robert Lovell saying the U.S. could have stopped the attacks.
During his daily White House briefing Press Secretary Jay Carney admitted to the “recent discord” and “misunderstandings” between the press and the administration concerning the Benghazi terrorist attacks two years ago, also admitting that the administration is sorry it has not done all it has to hunt down the plotters and leaders of the attacks, and that hiring the 66-year-old Simpson may help assuage much of the anger over the seeming inability of the administration to address the Benghazi issue and bring its perpetrators to justice.
“We hope that the hiring of O. J. Simpson to finally track down the persons responsible for the Benghazi attacks will help smooth over any hard feelings between the administration, the press, and the American people,” said Carney to the White House press corps. “We’re all aware of O. J. Simpson’s impeccable record in hunting down vicious, cold-blooded murderers, and have no doubt that O. J. will locate and bring to justice what, strangely, the entire United States military and intelligence agencies has not been able to in twenty months.”
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