Y’allbonics

Rumor has it that the Association of Southern Schools is seeking to have southern slang, also known as Y’allbonics, designated as a language to be taught in all southern schools. Here are some excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI (noun) – Greeting.

HIRE YEW (verb and pronoun) – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: “Heidi! Hire yew?”

BARD (verb) – Past tense of the verb “to borrow.” Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

JAWJUH (noun) – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner.”

BAMMER (noun) – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”

MUNTS (noun) – A calendar division. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t heard from him in munts.”

THANK (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

BARE (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have another bare.”

IGNERT (adjective) – Not smart. Usage: “Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!”

RANCH (noun) – A tool used for tightening bolts. Usage: “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

ALL (noun) – A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

FAR (noun) – A conflagration. Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thang’s gonna catch far.”

TAR (noun) – A rubber wheel. Usage: “I hope my brother from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar on my pickup truck.”

TIRE (noun) – A tall monument. Usage: “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”

RETARD (verb) – No longer working. Usage: “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

FAT (noun and verb) – A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: “You younguns keep fat’n an’ ah’m gonna whup yuh.”

RATS (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage: “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for our rats.”

CHEER (adverb) – In this place. Usage: “Jest set that bare rat cheer.”

FARN (adjective) – Not domestic. Usage: “I couldn’ unnerstand a word he said — must be from some farn country.”

DID (adjective) – Not alive. Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”

ARE (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas. Usage: “He cain’t breathe — give ‘im some are!”

BOB WAR (noun) – A sharp twisted cable. Usage: “Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence.”

JEW HERE  (pronoun and verb) – A contraction. Usage: “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence company?”

HAZE (pronoun and verb) – A contraction. Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah, haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit ‘n’is laf.”

SEED (verb) – Past tense of the verb “to see.” Usage: “I ain’t never seed Noo Yawk City.”

GUBMINT (noun) – A bureaucratic institution. Usage: “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

5 Responses to Y’allbonics

  1. Thomas says:

    One more for you: RAINCH = RANCH (in Texas and Arkansas, anyway). “I’m fixin’ to mosey out to Billy Bob’s rainch.”

    Like

  2. Christa says:

    My family is from Stamps, Arkansas which is right near Magnolia. I have tears in my eyes from laughing.

    Like

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