Drugs to cope with modern life

EMPTYNESTROGEN: Eliminates depression by reminding mothers of what their children were like as teenagers, when they couldn’t wait for them to grow up and move out.

PEPTOBIMBO: Relieves nausea caused by female co-workers who can’t resist flirting with anyone with a Y chromosome.

DUMBEROL: Temporarily lowers I.Q., enabling a woman to survive watching the stupid movies her boyfriend likes.

ST. MAMA’S WORT: Alleviates maternal fatigue by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to twenty-four hours.

FLIPITOR: Taken prior to driving, increases life expectancy by controlling the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN: When taken by single women, increases resistance to such lethal lines as “You make me want to be a better person.”

BUYAGRA: Taken prior to shopping, increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

ANTIBOYOTICS: When administered to teenage girls, results in improved grades, lower phone bills, and less money spent on makeup.

JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by relatives, neighbors, and co-workers who insist on behaving like jerks.

ANTITALKSIDENT: Purse-size spray for use on people who are too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

DAMMITOL: Take two with a glass of wine, and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to eight full hours.

3 Responses to Drugs to cope with modern life

  1. Ha! Very cute. I think I need some Dumberol 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Zip-a-Dee says:

    Creative! Goes to show what lies in the recessing of humans. If the void isn’t filled rightly it’s filled wrongly!

    Liked by 1 person

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