Parva leves capiunt animas

If you’re just an ordinary schlub who would like to sound clever, erudite, and scholarly, nothing does the trick quite like sprinkling your conversation liberally with Latin phrases. Here are a few that you’re sure to find useful in common everyday situations:

Magister Mundi sum.
I am the Master of the Universe.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes. 
If you can read this, you’re overeducated.

Mellita, domi adsum. 
Honey, I’m home.

Totum dependeat.
Let it all hang out.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside, plebians! I am on imperial business!

Quo signo nata es?
What’s your sign?

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
If Caesar were alive, you’d be chained to an oar.

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
Don’t call me, I’ll call you.

Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn’t rhyme.

Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
I don’t care. If it doesn’t rhyme, it isn’t a poem.

Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.

Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
Those green pants go well with that pink shirt and plaid jacket!

Sic faciunt omnes.
Everyone is doing it.

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.
It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant.
May barbarians invade your personal space.

Fac ut vivas.
Get a life.

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant.
May conspirators assassinate you in the mall.

Fac me cocleario vomere.
Gag me with a spoon.

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

In vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui.
In a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.

Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant.
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy.

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes.
If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin.

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.

 

12 Responses to Parva leves capiunt animas

  1. Hahaha! These are fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Simple pleasures for simple minds…. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. idiotprufs says:

    So I’m not alone, the toga people are after you too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tricia says:

    Really enjoyed this, I’m gonna keep a few for future use…;)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mitchteemley says:

    What’s Latin for LOL? I plan to use “Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!” (Stand aside, plebians! I am on imperial business!) a lot on Black Friday!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You really crack me up, Bird!

    Liked by 1 person

%d bloggers like this: