How to know you’re in a country church

Four generations of the same family sit together at worship.

People wonder why Noah let those two coyotes on the ark.

The preacher asks Bubba to help take up the offering and five guys stand up.

Opening day of hunting season is as an official church holiday.

The choir is known as the O.K. Chorale.

The sermon is about Jesus feeding the five thousand, and folks want to know whether the fish were bass or catfish.

Baptism is referred to as “branding.”

Finding and returning lost sheep are more than just a parable.

High notes on the organ set the dogs to howling.

The final benediction is, “Y’all come back now, hear?”

8 Responses to How to know you’re in a country church

  1. Will S. says:

    Reblogged this on Will S.' Sunny Side Blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] Read the rest at How to know you’re in a country church […]

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  3. Alec says:

    Featured with attribution in Mishmash 13 | Nice and easy.

    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Casey says:

    Hilarious. We were in a country church this Sunday (they host our Cub Scout pack) and you “ain’t” kidding. 🙂

    You forgot one, though: They’ll do anything for you, even if you’re a stranger! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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