How to know you’re in a country church

❧ Four generations of the same family sit together at worship.

❧ People wonder why Noah let those two coyotes on the ark.

❧ The preacher asks Bubba to help take up the offering and five guys stand up.

❧ Opening day of hunting season is an official church holiday.

❧ The choir is known as the O.K. Chorale.

❧ The sermon is about Jesus feeding the five thousand, and folks want to know whether the fish were bass or catfish.

❧ Baptism is referred to as “branding.”

❧ Finding and returning lost sheep are more than just a parable.

❧ High notes on the organ set the dogs to howling.

❧ The final benediction is, “Y’all come back now, hear?”

8 Responses to How to know you’re in a country church

  1. Will S. says:

    Reblogged this on Will S.' Sunny Side Blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] Read the rest at How to know you’re in a country church […]

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  3. Alec says:

    Featured with attribution in Mishmash 13 | Nice and easy.

    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Casey says:

    Hilarious. We were in a country church this Sunday (they host our Cub Scout pack) and you “ain’t” kidding. 🙂

    You forgot one, though: They’ll do anything for you, even if you’re a stranger! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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