From The Babylon Bee.
RIVERBANK, CA—In the middle of a Friday Bible study of which she is a semi-regular attender, sources confirmed local woman Rachel Atkinson intently searched the Book of Psalms for her favorite Scripture—the much-beloved ‘Footprints In The Sand’ poem.
“I just know it’s here somewhere. Or was it in Ecclesiastes?” Atkinson reportedly muttered as she leafed through the pages of her crimson Scofield Reference Bible, confident that every page turn would reveal the inspired words to help accentuate her conversational point about the love of Jesus. “It sure sounds like a Psalm, right?”
According to her friends and family, Atkinson often references the passage, which relays the vision of a man looking over his life with Christ and realizing that Christ in fact never abandoned him but carried him through his worst times. “Yeah, Rachel quotes that chapter all the time,” offered her husband. “It’s in Proverbs, right?”
At publishing time, Atkinson had moved on and was performing a Google search on her smartphone to find out what chapter of Luke contained the account of the little drummer boy playing his drum for Jesus.
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bluebird of bitterness 
That must have been in the Bible my dad quoted that forbade men to milk cows.
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🙂
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HAhA! Love the Babylon Bee! Incidentally, I went to another church for a Christmas Eve service. The pastor told about the 3 wise men, their names, their spiritual gifts and their family histories. A girl in front of me grabbed a Bible in confusion and started leafing through it to find the passage 🙂
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Was she one of those people who think “The Lord helps those who help themselves” is in the Bible?
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Unbelievable! 😀 — Suzanne.
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You’ve ruined me, Bird. I went browsing on Babylon, and found “Woman Convinced Amish Porn Genre Definitely Not Porn.” I’m a little dazed.
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