If Biblical events were covered by today’s media

Israelites crossing the Red Sea:

FRAGILE WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Law Enforcement Officials Slain While Pursuing Unruly Mob

David vs. Goliath:

CHAMPION OF RELIEF TROOPS KILLED IN HATE CRIME
Racial and Religious Prejudice Cited as Motivation

Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel:

WILDFIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS ACTIVIST INTO FRENZY
Hundreds Killed in Unprovoked Attack

The birth of Jesus:

HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS EJECTED FROM SHELTER
Animal Rights Advocates Threaten Lawsuit 

The wedding at Cana:

ITINERANT PREACHER ACCUSED OF MOONSHINING
Police Unable to Locate Still

Jesus feeding the five thousand:

FUNDAMENTALIST MINISTER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified by Leader’s Strange Behavior

Jesus healing ten lepers:

QUACK PREYS ON TERMINALLY ILL
Authorities Investigating Unlicensed Use of Non-Traditional Medicine

Jesus healing the man possessed by demons:

MADMAN CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer Faces Bankruptcy Following Loss of Hogs

24 Responses to If Biblical events were covered by today’s media

  1. 49lilykatz says:

    Hilarious as always, Bluebird! I especially like the guy in the crowd asking if the bread is gluten free. We all long for simpler times, some days!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thomas says:

    Right on the money.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Just like our media screwing around on words to make a good thing into a a bad thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Citizen Tom says:

    Reblogged this on Citizen Tom and commented:
    The news media is infamous for making the news fit the narrative they want us to us to hear. What is even more pathetic how little effort we make to see through their silly nonsense. So can you imagine how our intrepid reporters would have reported on the prophets and finally Jesus? Well, someone has, and they haven’t even gotten into how the news media would have misquoted the prophets and Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Eileen says:

    Love this. Too too true. Though I have always felt the pig farmer should have been compensated. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. […] If Biblical events were covered by today’s media […]

    Liked by 1 person

  7. directorfsm says:

    Sadly distorted but accurate in how it would play out. Also thought you should know Facebook is blocking me from posting anything from your site for “security” reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Will S. says:

    Reblogged this on Patriactionary and commented:
    Spot on! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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