Summertime classic: Letter from summer camp

Dear Mom and Dad,

We’re having a great time here at Lake Typhoid! Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Please call Chad’s parents and tell them he’s okay. He can’t write to them because of the cast.

We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for all the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn’t burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We’ll be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said with a car that old you have to expect things to break down. That’s probably why he can’t get insurance on it. We think it’s a neat car. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, he lets us ride on the tailgate. Don’t worry, he’s a good driver. He’s even teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming in the lake. I didn’t go because I can’t swim, and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so Scoutmaster Webb let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. Scoutmaster Webb isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad that we didn’t wear life jackets.

Guess what? We all passed our first aid merit badges! When Dave jumped in the lake and cut his arm on the rocks, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Wade and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison.

I have to go now. We’re going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.

Love,

Billy

P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?

17 Responses to Summertime classic: Letter from summer camp

  1. That was a fantastic story. It kind of reminds me of the camps I went to as a kid. I’m just glad my kids never went to a camp like that, or I would have had a heart attack. Thanks for an enjoyable read.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. John Kraft says:

    I laughed out loud sitting in the Starbucks, but they’re used to me doing that.

    May I reblog this, with attribution and a link to your blog?

    John

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Just hilarious.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OMG. Where do you find this stuff? Or do you make it up? Hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wish I could take credit for it, but no, I didn’t write this one. It’s something that was sent to me in an email some years ago, and no author was cited. I’m glad you enjoyed it, though. 🙂

      Like

  5. Eileen says:

    Funny! Camp memory: Got stuck going in circles mid
    lake in canoe. Had to be rescued.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. larrygeiger says:

    Sort of a take off of the old song I think:

    Hello Muddah, hello Faddah
    Here I am at Camp Grenada
    Camp is very entertaining
    And they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining

    I went hiking with Joe Spivey
    He developed poison ivy
    You remember Leonard Skinner
    He got Ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner

    All the counsellors hate the waiters
    And the lake has alligators
    And the head coach wants no sissies
    So he reads to us from something called Ulysses

    Now I don’t want this should scare ya’
    But my bunkmate has Malaria
    You remember Jeffery Hardy
    They’re about to organize a searching party

    Take me home, oh Muddah, Faddah
    Take me home, I hate Grenada
    Don’t leave me out in the forest where
    I might get eaten by a bear

    Take me home, I promise I will
    Not make noise, or mess the house with
    Other boys, oh please don’t make me stay
    I’ve been here one whole day

    Dearest Fadduh, Darling Muddah
    How’s my precious little bruddah
    Let me come home if you miss me
    I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

    Wait a minute, it’s stopped hailing
    Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
    Playing baseball, gee that’s bettah
    Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this letter

    Liked by 1 person

    • That may have been the inspiration for it. But what I like about Billy’s letter is his positive, upbeat attitude toward all the natural (and unnatural) disasters — seeing them as opportunities for fun and adventure, rather than something to whine and complain about. 🙂

      Like

  7. […] Summertime classic: Letter from summer camp […]

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  8. […] Summertime classic: Letter from summer camp […]

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  9. This was very funny!! I just wrote about summer camp as well. Enjoyed your post.
    https://brilliantviewpoint.com/2017/07/23/summer-camp-fun-or-horrible/

    Like

  10. This was very funny! I just wrote a post about summer camp too. Really enjoyed this. https://brilliantviewpoint.com/2017/07/23/summer-camp-fun-or-horrible/

    Liked by 1 person

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