During a trial in a small town, a very proper elderly lady was sworn in with her hand on the Bible, and she promised to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help her God. Then the prosecutor approached the woman and asked, “Mrs. Smith, do you know me?”
She replied, “Yes, I do, Mr. Wilson. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, I’m very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat, and you manipulate people. You think you’re a big shot, but you’re really just a two-bit shyster. Yes, I know you very well.”
The prosecutor was stunned. After an embarrassed silence, he indicated the defense attorney and asked, “Mrs. Smith, do you know him?”
She replied, “Yes, I’ve known Mr. Bradley for many years. He’s lazy and bigoted and he cheats on his wife. He drinks too much, and he nearly bankrupted his family with his gambling debts. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney blanched. Laughter filled the courtroom.
The judge summoned both attorneys to the bench, and in a very quiet voice he said, “If either one of you sons of bitches asks her if she knows me, you’re going to jail!”