Things we’ve learned from the movies

❧ Loft-style apartments in New York City are within the price range of most people whether they’re employed or not.

❧ Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

❧ The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

❧ Laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

❧ If you’re outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait to attack you one at a time, dancing around in a menacing manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

❧ When you turn out the light and go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

❧ Rather than wasting bullets, maniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives time to escape. 

❧ During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

❧ Anyone can land an airplane as long as there’s someone in the control tower to talk you down.

❧ The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you there, and you can get to any other part of the building without any difficulty.

❧ You’re likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

❧ A real man will remain stoical while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

❧ All bombs have electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

❧ A detective can only solve a case once he’s been suspended from duty.

❧ If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

33 Responses to Things we’ve learned from the movies

  1. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Hilarious but seemingly true.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Miss A says:

    How I wish all the apartments in NYC were cheap enough 🙂 Also something in movies is that everyone always wakes up with perfect makeup and never say bye when they hang up the phone .

    Liked by 5 people

  3. It’s all TRUE, BlueBird 😱😃😄😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Embeecee says:

    And nobody EVER has to visit the bathroom, unless it’s to hook up in a sketchy manner or buy something illegal. Nobody ever uses the facilities…well not unless it’s a romcom and two women want to chat through the stall wall….GREAT list, I think I’ll share this on my blog and get you more viewers. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another thing: Emotional/suspenseful/scary moments are always accompanied by appropriate music.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Yvonne says:

    Just brilliant. As usual.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Funniest thing about this list is how many of those things I’ve seen in just the past week or two!

    “If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.”

    There has never been a better use of this than the spectacular Central Park mob dance scene in Enchanted. Not only was it a hilarious scene, but also, because the gal had “cartoon magic,” so everyone joining in was perfectly reasonable in the context of the story – much to the distress of the guy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Abigail says:

      That was the scene that immediately came to my mind when I read that observation. “That’s How You Know” is one of the best (if not the best) examples of that phenomenon. I, for one, only know the electric slide.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Abigail says:

    “Rather than wasting bullets, maniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives time to escape.”

    It is obviously MUCH easier to obtain lasers and sharks than guns.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. floridaborne says:

    I’ve had questions about the martial arts fights scenes when I first saw one. They make me laugh as loudly as watching people in the movie 2012 talking on cell phones during the apocolypse. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. floridaborne says:

    Reblogged this on Two on a Rant and commented:
    Too funny not to share!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Evil Laugh! Can unemployed people afford to live in NY? Cheers,H

    Liked by 1 person

  12. No woman ever survives a marriage to Clint Eastwood. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan, but why is it that every character he plays is a widower?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. calmkate says:

    lol great collection, impressive observations!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Female spy, agent or cop is not the least but hindered running in 4 inch heels.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true! Not only can they run faster in stilettos than the guy(s) chasing them can in normal shoes, but that long, loose, flowing hair of theirs is never an impediment in hand-to-hand combat. Because no bad guy would ever stoop to grabbing a woman by her hair. 🙂

      Like

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  16. Reading the list aloud to Milady as she braids her hair…

    “When you turn out the light and go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.”

    Milady: Yeah, that’s ’cause you left the TV on.

    😀

    Liked by 1 person

  17. literaryeyes says:

    Not only are New York apartments affordable, but they are spacious and have great views from all the windows.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. HA! Great list! If you are a victim/suspect in a crime, unless you live in a crack house, your dishes are clean and put away and everything neat as a pin when the police search your home for clues. OH! OH! And if you don’t answer the door within 2.5 seconds anyone and everyone barges in. Because no one ever has to go potty.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I think that says it all……no one ever has to go potty…..unless someone puts something in what they eat, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

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