Happiness is a warm pun

A musician on a cruise ship had trouble keeping time with the rest of the orchestra. Finally the conductor said, “Look, either you learn to keep time or I’m going to throw you overboard. It’s up to you. Sync or swim.”

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A single mother with three small children had to juggle several part-time jobs while attending college to get her degree. She managed to survive it all with the help of an espresso machine given to her by a sympathetic friend. After four years of heroic effort, she graduated, summa cum latte.

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A teddy bear was working on a construction site. He took a lunch break, and when he returned, he found that his pick had been stolen. The bear was upset and reported the theft to the foreman, who said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you — today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked.”

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Several of the attendees at a chess masters convention were loitering in the hotel lobby, bragging about their past victories. The hotel manager came over and ordered them to disperse. When they demanded to know why, he informed them that the hotel rules strictly prohibited chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

21 Responses to Happiness is a warm pun

  1. Alison B. Lavallee says:

    Bluebird, you have improved these songs for me, THANKS!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Fresh from BlueBird’s Nest 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Would today’s young’n’s get “today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked”? (We so fail to transmit our culture, alas.) 😦

    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • My kids would get it, but then my kids were exposed to a lot of things that would be completely unfamiliar to other members of their age cohort. That’s what happens when you’re born to parents with eccentric tastes in music and literature.

      Like

  4. noelleg44 says:

    Worth ten groans!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That last one was a real eye-ball roller. Thanks for this post. I love this stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rae Longest says:

    Hilarious! Reblogged this.

    Liked by 1 person

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