Happiness is a warm pun

A musician on a cruise ship had trouble keeping time with the rest of the orchestra. Finally the conductor said, “Look, either you learn to keep time or I’m going to throw you overboard. It’s up to you. Sync or swim.”

❧  ❧  ❧

A single mother with three small children had to juggle several part-time jobs while attending college to get her degree. She managed to survive it all with the help of an espresso machine given to her by a sympathetic friend. After four years of heroic effort, she graduated, summa cum latte.

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A teddy bear was working on a construction site. He took a lunch break, and when he returned, he found that his pick had been stolen. The bear was upset and reported the theft to the foreman, who said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you — today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked.”

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Several of the attendees at a chess masters convention were loitering in the hotel lobby, bragging about their past victories. The hotel manager came over and ordered them to disperse. When they demanded to know why, he informed them that the hotel rules strictly prohibited chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 28th, 2018 at 8:14 am and is filed under circus of life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

21 Responses to Happiness is a warm pun

  1. The Story Reading Ape says:
    August 28, 2018 at 9:37 am

    ROTFLOL

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Peter's pondering says:
    August 28, 2018 at 9:37 am

    Groan!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Alison B. Lavallee says:
    August 28, 2018 at 9:54 am

    Bluebird, you have improved these songs for me, THANKS!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. John Kraft says:
    August 28, 2018 at 11:12 am

    Rimshot!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The Story Reading Ape says:
    August 28, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Fresh from BlueBird’s Nest 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chuck says:
    August 28, 2018 at 1:38 pm

    Boooo 🤓

    Like

  7. mindful webworker says:
    August 28, 2018 at 6:19 pm

    Would today’s young’n’s get “today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked”? (We so fail to transmit our culture, alas.) 😦

    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • bluebird of bitterness says:
      August 29, 2018 at 9:32 am

      My kids would get it, but then my kids were exposed to a lot of things that would be completely unfamiliar to other members of their age cohort. That’s what happens when you’re born to parents with eccentric tastes in music and literature.

      Like

  8. The Owl Lady says:
    August 28, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    Reblogged this on Viv Drewa – The Owl Lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. RobbyeFaye says:
    August 28, 2018 at 9:21 pm

    Love them!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. noelleg44 says:
    August 29, 2018 at 8:55 am

    Worth ten groans!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. rosihollinbeck says:
    August 29, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    That last one was a real eye-ball roller. Thanks for this post. I love this stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Rae Longest says:
    September 14, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    Reblogged this on blogging807.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Rae Longest says:
    September 14, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    Hilarious! Reblogged this.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Reblog from The Bluebird of Bitterness – “Happiness Is A Warm Pun.” | Down the Hall on Your Left says:
    September 21, 2018 at 9:01 am

    […] Happiness is a warm pun […]

    Liked by 1 person

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