Product fan mail

Dear Tide:

I’m writing to tell you what an excellent product you have! I’ve been using it ever since I got married many years ago, but it’s only recently that I’ve come to appreciate just what a superior product it is.

A few weeks ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. Right away, my husband started to berate me about how clumsy I am. One thing led to another, and to make a long story short, I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I wondered if anything would take the stains out, but after I washed my blouse in Tide, to my amazement it was cleaner than I ever would have imagined possible. In fact, the blood came out so well that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative, and just this morning, I learned that I am no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief!

Once again, thank you for making such a fantastic product. Now I have to go write a letter to the Hefty Bag people.

Sincerely yours,

A satisfied customer

8 Responses to Product fan mail

  1. 😱😱😱 My wife just bought shares in that company 😱😱😱

    Liked by 2 people

  2. janowrite says:

    Brilliant! 😁😁😁

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve used ‘Tide’ for YEARS. It and Oxyclean keep my whites ‘whiter than white’…but I never considered the further uses they could provide. Ah well. Some times we miss opportunities, don’t we? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Errr… is there a “Kind-of Like” button? 😉

    This would have been a great short bit in one of the old EC horror comics. Illustrated by Jack Davis.

    Entirely aside, it wasn’t until I left home for college that I realized that my wonderful education had left me woefully unprepared for the world. I learned about doing laundry from the back of a Tide box!

    I may not have been a great parent, but we made sure our three knew how to cook. And get the bloodstains out.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. says:

    Oh my!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dawn Marie says:

    Very clever. Disconcerting…but clever.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ah, ha, ha. Attention to abused women everywhere. It seems Tide has offered an out for all of you. With the strong garbage bag and efficient garbage service, this case can be permanently moved to the cold case files. That abusive sucker will be dumped in a landfill and covered over for years to come if not forever becoming part of the foundation of our great nation. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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