From The Babylon Bee.
U.S.—As many people in the nation prepare to celebrate Halloween, experts are cautioning the nation that some psychopaths may be handing out candy corn along with actual candy this year.
A report issued by government officials stated that many disturbed individuals may try to slip candy corn into your children’s candy bags.
“It appears many mentally ill people are planning on putting small bags of candy corn in with the actual candy,” said a CDC official. “Remember to check your kids’ bags before they accidentally chew on the wax-flavored globs of disgustingness.”
Warning signs that your kids may have inadvertently ingested candy corn include a look of revulsion on their faces, sudden vomiting, and yelling, “Hey, why does this candy taste like I’m chewing on a crayon?”
“Know the warning signs and educate your kids,” the CDC official added. “If they see a stranger handing out candy corn, remind them to run away and alert a law enforcement official.”
At publishing time, CDC officials had also warned parents to look out for flavorless Circus Peanuts.