Hot cross puns

Some Franciscans were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a flower shop to raise money. But a rival florist across town resented the competition, and he hired Hugh MacTaggart, the most notorious thug in town, to persuade the friars to close. Hugh threatened the friars and trashed their shop, warning that he’d be back if they didn’t shut down. The terrified Franciscans complied, proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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Roy Rogers rode up on Trigger with his new boots in tatters and a dead cougar draped over his saddle. Dale Evans said, “Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

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The human cannonball was getting tired of being shot out of a cannon night after night, so he went to the ringmaster and told him he planned to retire. The ringmaster was stunned. “You can’t retire,” he said. “Where would I ever find another man of your caliber?”

16 Responses to Hot cross puns

  1. teachezwell says:

    Those are hilarious! I tried to think of a punny comment but that’s more my husband’s domain.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. egorr says:

    Grown

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jono51 says:

    I’m still groaning!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. atimetoshare.me says:

    Groan 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Franciscans punchline hurt as if I’d tried to say it aloud.

    Roy had me stumped at first, then the music kicked in.
    ♫♩♬

    After those, cannonball was almost a relief.

    😀

    Liked by 2 people

  6. ibikenyc says:

    “A man of your calibre;” LOLOLOLOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jenny_o says:

    Wonderful 🙂

    And now I have Chattanooga Choo Choo stuck in a loop in my head (not a bad thing at all) …

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  9. V.M.Sang says:

    It did take me a while to get Roy Rogers. Thanks to Jenny O for saving my sanity.
    You bring light and amusement to us all, so I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award. To find out more, visit my site. http://aspholessaria.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

    • Awww, you’re so sweet. ❤️ Alas, I am too much of a scatterbrain to be able to accept awards, which inevitably involve answering lots of questions and following lots of directions, both of which I’m terrible at. But I’m flattered at having been nominated. 🙂

      Like

  10. julesmomcat says:

    Thanks to Genius Jennie-O for clarifying the Roy Rogers one, and the florist friars definitely stretched the imagination!

    Liked by 2 people

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