Layman’s guide to understanding scientific research

“It has long been known…” I didn’t look up the original reference

“A definite trend is evident…” These data are practically meaningless

“While it has not been possible to provide definitive answers to the questions…” An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published

“Three of the samples were chosen for a detailed study…” The other results didn’t make any sense

“Typical results are shown…” This is the prettiest graph

“In my experience…” Once

“In case after case…” Twice

“In a series of cases…” Three times

“It is believed…” I think

“It is generally believed…” A couple of other people think so too

“According to statistical analysis…” Rumor has it

“A statistically-oriented projection of the significance of these findings…” Wild guess

“A careful analysis of available data…” Several pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over my coffee mug

“It is clear that additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon can be obtained…” I don’t understand it

“After additional study by my colleagues…” They don’t understand it either

“A highly significant area for exploratory study…” A totally useless topic selected by the committee

“It is to be hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation into this field…” I need another government grant

18 Responses to Layman’s guide to understanding scientific research

  1. It is apparent to some…
    Some scientists have suggested…
    Perhaps…
    It is possible…
    Evidence may exist…
    It is not unreasonable to conclude…
    On the other hand…
    Depending upon…
    An alternative understanding posits…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Paula Light says:

    Eggs bad, eggs good, eggs bad, eggs good…

    Repeat with wine, bread, meat, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The possiblities are endless – Nuff said 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. egorr says:

    Climate scientists. Harrrumph. Can’t stand ’em, can’t shoot ’em because of the paperwork.

    Best to ignore them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. floridaborne says:

    This is so on-point, I laughed all the way through it.

    Have…to…share. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Absolutely beautiful ! And it’s totally true !

    Liked by 1 person

  7. acflory says:

    Double speak is annoying, whether it occurs in scientific papers, corporate memos or from the mouths of politicians. Luckily, most out and out lies are caught and called out in the scientific community. Pity that doesn’t happen elsewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jenny_o says:

    LOL – I truly hope this is not true but sometimes I wonder 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. […] via Layman’s guide to understanding scientific research — bluebird of bitterness. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on lucinda E Clarke and commented:
    Love these – the real truth!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. colonialist says:

    So true they are scary.
    Also ‘the consensus is’ meaning ‘I agree with myself on this one’.

    Liked by 1 person

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