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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 27th, 2020 at 8:19 am and is filed under circus of life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
This entry was posted on Thursday, August 27th, 2020 at 8:19 am and is filed under circus of life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won’t buy, but have you ever tried to buy them without money?
—Ogden Nash
Employment applications always ask whom to call in case of an emergency. I always say ‘an ambulance.’
Home sweet home
Bob's sister Hannah
Bob's sister Ada
Bob's brother Otto
Bob's sister Eve
Bob's sister Nan
A baby picture of Bob and his siblings (clockwise from upper left: Otto, Eve, Hannah, Ada, Bob, and Nan)
Bob's childhood home
Bob's mom and dad
Bob in his youth
Bob's cousin Alphonse
Bob's Uncle Ralph and Aunt Edna
Bob's cousin Archibald
Bob's stepbrother Herbie (who really needs to quit smoking)
Bob's cousin Chester
Bob's Great Uncle Norbert and Great Aunt Phyllis
Bob's cousin Saffron (who will do anything for a drink)
Bob's cousin Thorndike
Bob's brother-in-law Vinnie
Bob's cousin Orville, who loves the Green Bay Packers
Bob's nieces Lulu and Bitsy, the biker chicks
Bob's stepsister Eloise, with the twins, Rudy and Trudy
Bob's Uncle Henry and Aunt Rowena
Bob's niece Esmerelda (who likes to live dangerously)
Bob's Great Uncle Arthur up in Saskatchewan
Bob's cousin Louie, the grackle of grumpiness
Miss Screech, Bob's journalism teacher
Bob's nephew Winthrop, who loves sports
Bob's Uncle Seymour and Aunt Bernice
Bob's second cousin Schlomo in Brooklyn
Bob's nephew Baxter
Bob's cousin Darrell
Bob's sister-in-law Delphine, who volunteers at the animal shelter
Percy the Pickpocket, Bob's third cousin once removed (the relative no one likes to talk about... every family has one)
The Bluebird of Happiness™ (no relation to Bob)
A pair of boobies (also no relation to Bob, but included for readers who desire titillation)
Bluebird Bitter™, the beer they named for Bob
The strangeness of people never fails to amaze me.
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I agree. On the other hand, it’s kind of comforting to know that I’m not the only person who’s ever done something appallingly stupid.
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My brain slightly dumb as it took me half a minute to work out lady at helmet on the wrong way.
Then the last photo, I was like, what’s wrong with this? Till I caught on a few seconds after, he could have used peak on his cap, instead of his hand. 😜😅
But I would like to think and hope that the chap on his hands and knees while chap with cutting blade has bern staged. I zoomed in on this photo and you can see the cutting blades. So definitely staged, thank goodness.
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Me, too, with the backwards / upside-down helmet! 😀
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😊
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Well, DUH! : )
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O…M…G. Spell check is so important! Toad instead of towed and dead instead of deaf. Is it possible to be both mortified and laughing?
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And the Tudoring!
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Agreed. 🙂 I don’t know where the Bluebird of Bitterness finds some of these.
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Bluebird of bitterness spends way too much time online. 🙂
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You spend your time well. 🙂
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Aww, thanks. ♥️
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Hey it COULD be someone offering to teach English Royal History…
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I think that daycare is run by witches and they will actually turn your car into a toad if you park there.
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Good one!
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I wouldn’t put it past them.
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Or “passed” them 😉
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😀
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Reblogged this on Two on a Rant and commented:
Spelling errors at their worst, gym gems, and wrong ways — they’re all here in this post: Check out the Bluebird of Bitterness blog.
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Thank you for reblogging. ♥️
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So many good ones, I had to share the laughs. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Admit it guys, how many of you do what the guy in the last cartoon did?
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😀 😀 😀
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Thank you for the laughter Bob! But this one with the hand saw looks like very harmful indeed. Michael
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That one is definitely painful to look at.
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😉 It is, Bob!
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Truly, your best ever!! I love your sense (senses?) of humor. Thank you!
Marilyn
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cute! love the photos of the birds.
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I like toads…
At least these are just a step above Walmartians.
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I think I get it, but I’d love to hear more about Walmartians, if you wish to say 🙂
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Grab something to drink & get comfortable.
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com
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Coffee in hand, on only the second page, already laughing so hard I am wiping my eyes! Thank you SO much for the link! 🙂
I had never heard them called “Walmartians;” that is brilliant!
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I heard that term a decade ago in Texas. I lived seven miles from a 24/7 Walmart at the corner of US183 & FM620, just outside of Round Rock (now in North Austin…it’s not open 24/7 anymore). I saw some of my own weird s*** in that place @ 2am. It never occurred to me to take pictures. I thought it was just specific to the area. My hometown in NC had one small Walmart for years and it was boring-normal.
Life in Texas was an eye-opener. 😳
Yeah. That site will make you choke on your coffee if you’re not careful. ☕😝🤣
You’re welcome. 😁
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Now you know why I shop at WalMart — because it makes me feel slim and attractive.
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It has its advantages! 😆
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When you look like me, your opportunities for looking slim and attractive are pretty limited.
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LOL!
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I watch a lot of true crime shows (Oxygen and ID) and am continually amazed at just how MUCH bad s*** involved WalMarts!
Also how true is the thing about Texas’ being larger than life. It’s like the flip side of the NYC coin 😉
(We don’t have Walmarts within the city limits. We get our dose of Weird Stuff on random streets and subway cars.)
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I’m addicted to HLN’s Forensic Files I & II. I hear ya’. I keep telling my Sig. Other that, NO, I’m not going to poison you. LOL!
Texas is BIG…big buildings, big sky (avg. 240 days of rich blue skies), big hail (Central Texas is famous for that with an industry to repair roofs and car dents), big tornadoes (Waco being the lowest end of tornado alley), big trucks (I drove a used, big F250 XLT farm truck), Longhorn cows are big, big hurricanes, big bikes (ever heard of the ROT Rally or the Lonestar Rally?), big houses, big men (my former supervisor was a 6′ 6″ rancher), big universities (with big budgets for big football teams), big wind farms up around Sweetwater & Abilene, big airports (DFW is a mini-city all unto itself), Big Bend National Park and, at one time, Houston was #3 on the list of the biggest US cities. It’s wide open country and I miss it like hell. I still have many friends there and an old friend/classmate, that I grew up with, left our home state after college graduation and never looked back.
No Wally Worlds inside NYC. Hm. I’ve never been in a subway in my entire life…and I turned 54, today.
I do remember, many years ago (in the middle 80s), having a rather odd conversation with a guy that lived in Manhattan. I was working for an industrial supply company (here in NC) and I answered the phone. This guy was interested in ordering some supplies and we ended up talking about our respective lives. He said he owned a Mustang but, was thinking of selling it as he never drove it. He was always using the subway. I remarked that I would be lost without my car.
Then, he asked me the $64,000 question…
“So. Are you a ‘Southern Belle’?”
“I don’t know if I am or not.”
“Well, are you pretty?”
“Well, I don’t draw blisters on a wall, if that’s what you mean.”
I actually heard him drop the phone, howl with laughter, pick it back up, apologize and cough in my ear for about five minutes. He was a trip.
Speaking of…I have been to Manhattan…once…October 1991. Flew out of RDU @7:30a and flew out of LaGuardia @7:30pm. It was a free ticket for a day trip. I was working in Corporate Travel for Roche Biomedical at the time. Six of us were shoved into this really small “tour bus” with really small windows. Our tour guide…”Look, there’s the Empire State Building. Look, there’s the Statue of Liberty.” The six of us went from side to side, trying desperately to see ANYTHING out of the those windows. I remember being shocked at the condition of the roads, graffiti and cars missing wheels. I did get to go into FAO Schwartz and a Macy’s (both places were HUGE). I ordered a hotdog from a street vendor and met some dude in a long coat with a lot of watches inside of it. Culture shock.
I will always remember the sunset leaving LaGuardia and the city being lit up. I’ve never been back to NY.
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You’d really be desperate for a tutor to hire that one. 😀 — Suzanne
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You’d also have to be desperate for day care to put your child in a place where the teachers don’t know how to spell. 🙂
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🤣🤣🤣🤣
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So funny! And the teachers can’t spell??
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I keep saying that people who make signs should hire an unemployed English major to proofread for them. I don’t know why no one listens to me! 🙂
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I think it’s a great idea! 😅
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“The only thing more overrated than natural childbirth is the joy of owning your own business.” ROFL!
Or your own boat, about which I’ve heard said that “boats are good things for your friends to have.”
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🙂
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What fun! Tell the Grackle of Grumpiness to cheer up!
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Maybe the “Tudoring” sign was put up by a contractor who wants to slather house exteriors with white stucco and fake diagonal beams? If so, it would be the customers who have the dumb.
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You may be right. But if that were the case, the contractor should have chosen a different font for his sign. 🙂
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When I see people doing things like the woman wearing the motorcycle helmet backwards I begin to understand why contraceptives are ineffective so frequently as well.
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Reblogged this on Writer's Treasure Chest and commented:
I had a laughing fit with these. Thanks for the tears of laughter, Bluebird of Bitterness! 😀
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Thanks A.J. ♥️
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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Reply to The Hinoeuma. (Now I know what “out of nesting” means!)
Happy Birthday, belatedly! Many happy returns 😀
I’m told NYC in the early-mid 90s was at least as bad as it was in the 70s. I’m sorry you were here then. Fortunately, I moved to Fort Lauderdale in 1989 and so missed that Second Wave, but I can easily imagine those awful graffiti-and-pothole blighted streets and the stripped-down abandoned cars you describe. Also the watch guys.
As far as never having been on a subway: You’re not missing much. Just imagine that “tour” bus trip in a space half the size, twice as crowded (with complete strangers), literally underground, and with little-to-no ventilation.
Schwarz was bought out by someone and so closed that huge flagship of theirs, but the Macy’s on 34th Street (Herald Square), which is where I suspect y’all were, soldiers on.
Street hotdogs were one of the few things I missed while I was living out of town: “Two with mustard and onions,” a bag of chips, and a Coke were lunch for me countless times over the years.
I wouldn’t give up a Mustang if I had one, but I get it about why your customer was thinking of selling his. Depending on where in the city you live, that old thing about how you don’t need a car in NY can be true.
“Well, I don’t draw blisters on a wall, if that’s what you mean” is now officially a part of my lexicon. ROFL; LOLOLOLOL!
I had not heard of either of those bike rallies but looked them both up just now. I see what you mean about BIG; LOL! THAT must be LOUD!
I moved back here in 2003 because it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I still miss South Florida and The South, ESPECIALLY Publix!
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