An oldie but goodie.
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Home sweet home
Bob's sister Hannah
Bob's sister Ada
Bob's brother Otto
Bob's sister Eve
Bob's sister Nan
A baby picture of Bob and his siblings (clockwise from upper left: Otto, Eve, Hannah, Ada, Bob, and Nan)
Bob's childhood home
Bob's mom and dad
Bob in his youth
Bob's cousin Alphonse
Bob's Uncle Ralph and Aunt Edna
Bob's cousin Archibald
Bob's stepbrother Herbie (who really needs to quit smoking)
Bob's cousin Chester
Bob's Great Uncle Norbert and Great Aunt Phyllis
Bob's cousin Saffron (who will do anything for a drink)
Bob's cousin Thorndike
Bob's brother-in-law Vinnie
Bob's cousin Orville, who loves the Green Bay Packers
Bob's nieces Lulu and Bitsy, the biker chicks
Bob's stepsister Eloise, with the twins, Rudy and Trudy
Bob's Uncle Henry and Aunt Rowena
Bob's niece Esmerelda (who likes to live dangerously)
Bob's Great Uncle Arthur up in Saskatchewan
Bob's cousin Louie, the grackle of grumpiness
Miss Screech, Bob's journalism teacher
Bob's nephew Winthrop, who loves sports
Bob's Uncle Seymour and Aunt Bernice
Bob's second cousin Schlomo in Brooklyn
Bob's nephew Baxter
Bob's cousin Darrell
Nigel, Bob's pen pal in New Zealand
Bob's sister-in-law Delphine, who volunteers at the animal shelter
Percy the Pickpocket, Bob's third cousin once removed (the relative no one likes to talk about... every family has one)
The Bluebird of Happinessā¢ (no relation to Bob)
A pair of boobies (also no relation to Bob, but included for readers who desire titillation)
A pair of tits (in case the boobies were insufficiently titillating)
Bluebird Bitterā¢, the beer they named for Bob
I only had one sibling, so here was our candy trading method.
1. Dump out all the candy into your own pile.
2. Take out all the really good stuff and put it back into your bag.
3. Push what remains into a combined pile with sibling, and then take turns selecting pieces from that pile you might feel like eating someday, until nobody wants what’s left.
4. Give that pile to parents.
And I remember receiving some truly dreadful candy as a child. Those orange and black wrapped taffy chunks, something called “monster candy” that was a piece of sweetened cardboard in a box, Necco wafers, and starlight mints. Really adults, you couldn’t come up with anything better than starlight mints? Weren’t you ever a child?
Although starlight mints were still better than the religious tracts my kids got given one year. Sheesh.
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Frikkin’ hilarious!
As a kid in the ’50s, we almost always had good stuff. It wasn’t until about 62-65 when the crap started to hit.
I hate to say it, but I *LOVE* dark chocolate. I always got my fill at Hallowe’en…
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I’m with you on the dark chocolate. It’s heavenly.
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The Mom & Dad tax!!š¤£š¤£š¤£
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