From The Babylon Bee.
BURLINGTON, VT—According to sources, local homeowner Candy McSally is desperately trying to make a batch of figgy pudding so a gang of obnoxious carolers will leave her alone.
Neighbors say that as of 1 am, the carolers are on their 427th round of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” and have promised to stay in place until they get some figgy pudding.
“What the heck is figgy pudding anyway?” said McSally as she frantically searched through a stack of cookbooks hoping to find a recipe. “Why won’t they leave until they get some? Who wrote that infernal song? Why are carolers even a thing? Somebody help me!”
Historians say that figgy pudding is a 14th-century British dish, which would explain why it’s gross and lame and nobody likes it. After searching on Google, McSally finally found a recipe.
“Mutton? Where in the world am I going to find mutton? Why is it mixed with raisins? What kind of psycho would eat this crap?” she cried.
After realizing she didn’t have any of the ingredients, she decided to go shopping in town. Sources say the carolers are now on their 2,700th round of the Christmas carol and two have been rushed to the hospital due to hypothermia, or perhaps due to lack of figgy pudding.
UPDATE: For anyone who doesn’t get the cultural reference, this will explain it.
bluebird of bitterness 
😂 That poor woman.
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LOL!
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Poor carolers; they must be hoarse by now. lol
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)))
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Oh, thanks, Bluebird. Now I’ve got the lyrics stuck in my head.
Now bring us some figgy pudding
Now bring us some figgy pudding
Now bring us some figgy pudding
Now bring some out here
We won’t go until we get some
We won’t go until we get some
We won’t go until we get some
So bring it right here…. \@@/
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ROFL! Wiping my eyes! WHEW! Worth every bit of the earworm!
😀
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Figgy pudding. The other F word. 😀
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Hahaha! Figging savage 😂😂
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Figging right!
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😆😆😆
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Very funny.
On Christmas Day, when I, my sister and cousins were small, after Christmas dinner, the family, grand parents, parents, aunts and uncles retired to what was known as The Room (only used on special occasions). We children had to go round shaking each person’s hand and singing this song. But we didn’t get to the figgy pudding bit!
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Me, too.
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Well, Lady Q, now you’ve forced my hand. See update above.
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Too funny!
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That poor person! Why would they even do that?!
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LOL! Very funny. 🙂
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Hahahaha. That’s an idea for something I will learn how to cook. Imagine the look on their faces if they actually got some!
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Like most residents of the U.S., I have never had figgy pudding, but one Christmas many years ago some women I knew took it into their heads to make a traditional English plum pudding for a community function, and it was really rather good. However, the amount of work that goes into making it is insane, so I would never dream of doing it myself. I can make a pan of chocolate brownies in a tiny fraction of the time it takes to make a plum pudding, and the brownies are just as good. 🙂
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