Hobbits forced to begin wearing shoes after Lego store opens in Shire

From The Babylon Bee.

HOBBITON—Hobbits throughout The Shire began wearing shoes last week after the opening of a new Lego Store in the town of Stock, just east of the Brandywine River. Though Hobbits have hairy rugged feet that can withstand the harshest of elements, they are apparently no match for tiny plastic pieces with razor-sharp edges.

“I’ve never been interested in the affairs of Men, but the Lego Death Star I saw out in Breeland was pretty cool,” said Bodo Proudfoot. “But now those blasted things are everywhere! I can’t walk more than five paces before collapsing to the ground in agony!”

The Lego Store was built by Bree-hobbits under the close supervision of Brandy Hall. It was designed to improve relations between Hobbits and Men, an interaction previously limited to illegal pipeweed dealings. Now halflings who have been forced to protect their feet by wearing ill-fitting shoes are demanding answers.

“Why should we pay for the mistakes of a Brandybuck?” questioned Lotho Sackville-Baggins. “I’ve got half a mind to burn that place down. If Brandy Hall goes with it then so be it!”

Despite the local outrage, Lego reports sales are exceeding expectations. The most popular Lego kit allows Hobbits to build model farms for little barefoot Lego figures to cultivate and live sensible lives while not going on any adventures.

Representatives from Lego said they are looking into some Elven magic that will allow Hobbits to step on Legos barefoot without injury. 

20 Responses to Hobbits forced to begin wearing shoes after Lego store opens in Shire

  1. Corrie.S.P. says:

    Haha! Your posts make me think. 🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  2. msjadeli says:

    I love this! Thanks for the laughs.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. V.M.Sang says:

    Oh, no! Poor hobbits.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. MOST excellent 🙂 I wonder if you can build a reproduction of The Hobbit Hole with legos 🙂 A fitting tribute for Lego’s 90th anniversary!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. trentpmcd says:

    lol, everyone, I mean everyone seem to have issues with stepping on Legos…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Let’s get that Elven magic going to save those feet. Poor fellows.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yvonne says:

    I have sent this to a bloke who lives down in that part of New Zealand. He has a twisted sense of humour and will no doubt enjoy this.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. As of 2021, Lego is the largest toy company in the world, according to Wikipedia. Legos are EVERYWHERE. You have to wear shoes!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Spar Harmon says:

    O, Too Good !!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hilarious. Hobbit children must stop being so careless and pick up those Legos from the ground

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Widdershins says:

    The Dark Lord has returned!!! flee for your lives!

    Liked by 1 person

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