An oldie but goodie.
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Late one night a burglar broke into a house that he thought was unoccupied. He hadn’t gotten far when he heard a voice say, “Jesus is watching.”
The burglar froze.
After a brief silence the voice repeated, “Jesus is watching.”
The burglar looked where the voice seemed to be coming from, and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Jesus is watching,” repeated the parrot.
“Shut up, you stupid bird,” said the burglar.
“I’m not a stupid bird,” said the parrot. “I’m John the Baptist.”
“John the Baptist? What kind of idiot names a bird John the Baptist?”
“The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”