English major jocularity

I don’t judge people based on race, creed, color, or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.

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English literature: I will die for honor.

French literature: I will die for love.

American literature: I will die for freedom.

Russian literature: I will die.

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Imagine trying to learn English and finding out that butt dialing and booty calls are two different things.

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Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Husband: Can we change the subject?

Wife: All right. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

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How to write a good story: 1. Write a bad one. 2. Fix it.

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Dear people who type in all lowercase,

We are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Sincerely,

Capital letters

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19 Responses to English major jocularity

  1. Corrie.S.P. says:

    That pic is funny!
    And yes! That is the way to write a good story!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Katherine says:

    Amen. Let’s eat Grandma! (Let’s eat, Grandma!)

    Liked by 3 people

  3. egorr says:

    Careful! The Capital Police may come calling if you’re not careful!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. L.K. Latham says:

    Hilarious! Having once been a dreaded grammar officer, I so appreciate this.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. […] English major jocularity — bluebird of bitterness […]

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahaha. Just today I rejected reading a recipe that called for pimento’s. If they can’t get that right, how could I trust the recipe?

    Liked by 3 people

  7. SasjaL says:

    I don’t judge people based on race, creed, color, or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.

    This is apparently American English, not Brittish English. Guess why?

    Liked by 3 people

  8. V.M.Sang says:

    Well, I especially love the capital letter one. Also the change the subject. They are all very funny though

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Marcia says:

    Thanks, Bluebird … DYING, here! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dawn Marie says:

    I fear a long jail stay – despite my best attempts to adhere to the letter of the law. 🫣

    Liked by 1 person

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