English major jocularity

I don’t judge people based on race, creed, color, or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.

❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧

English literature: I will die for honor.

French literature: I will die for love.

American literature: I will die for freedom.

Russian literature: I will die.

❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧

Imagine trying to learn English and finding out that butt dialing and booty calls are two different things.

❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧

Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Husband: Can we change the subject?

Wife: All right. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧

How to write a good story: 1. Write a bad one. 2. Fix it.

❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧

Dear people who type in all lowercase:

We are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Sincerely,

Capital letters

❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 10th, 2022 at 1:02 pm and is filed under circus of life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

19 Responses to English major jocularity

  1. Corrie.S.P. says:
    May 10, 2022 at 1:18 pm

    That pic is funny!
    And yes! That is the way to write a good story!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Katherine says:
    May 10, 2022 at 1:32 pm

    Amen. Let’s eat Grandma! (Let’s eat, Grandma!)

    Liked by 3 people

  3. egorr says:
    May 10, 2022 at 1:48 pm

    Careful! The Capital Police may come calling if you’re not careful!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. L.K. Latham says:
    May 10, 2022 at 2:21 pm

    Hilarious! Having once been a dreaded grammar officer, I so appreciate this.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. English major jocularity — bluebird of bitterness – chazrothmsg says:
    May 10, 2022 at 2:50 pm

    […] English major jocularity — bluebird of bitterness […]

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Grandma's Ramblings says:
    May 10, 2022 at 3:03 pm

    Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. 🇪🇺 Bee H. says:
    May 10, 2022 at 3:23 pm

    🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Apple Hill Cottage says:
    May 10, 2022 at 4:34 pm

    Hahaha. Just today I rejected reading a recipe that called for pimento’s. If they can’t get that right, how could I trust the recipe?

    Liked by 3 people

  9. SasjaL says:
    May 10, 2022 at 5:55 pm

    “I don’t judge people based on race, creed, color, or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.”

    This is apparently American English, not Brittish English. Guess why?

    Liked by 3 people

  10. jowensauthor says:
    May 10, 2022 at 7:19 pm

    Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. V.M.Sang says:
    May 11, 2022 at 9:25 am

    Well, I especially love the capital letter one. Also the change the subject. They are all very funny though

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Marcia says:
    May 13, 2022 at 9:13 am

    Thanks, Bluebird … DYING, here! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dawn Marie says:
    May 14, 2022 at 10:47 am

    I fear a long jail stay – despite my best attempts to adhere to the letter of the law. 🫣

    Liked by 1 person

%d bloggers like this: