From The Babylon Bee.
ST. PAUL, MN — Having purchased a standing mixer for his wife last month, local man Jared Simmons has found himself unable to escape a virtual blitzkrieg of standing mixer advertisements.
“It’s over, KitchenAid!” screamed Mr. Simmons, as Facebook unleashed seventeen more ads. “I already bought the dang CuisinArt!!”
After spending roughly forty-five seconds comparing ratings on Amazon, Mr. Simmons selected his wife’s birthday present one month ago to the day. “My life has been a nightmarish parade of cooking utensils ever since,” said Mr. Simmons. “I’m not buying another mixer for at least a decade, hopefully ever. It’s not a freaking banana, ok? Sure, show me more bananas. Maybe I’ll buy another bushel next week, when these are black and in my freezer for my wife to supposedly make banana bread with. But I’m NOT BUYING ANOTHER MIXER!”
At publishing time, Mr. Simmons had opened his mailbox to find four ‘Spatula City’ catalogues stuffed inside.
bluebird of bitterness 
“Hmmm, what in the world is that?” (Quick Google) “Yuck, no, that must be the world’s worst product. I wouldn’t use it if you paid me.”
-Forever stuck with ads for “The World’s Worst Product” popping up every time the computer is on…-
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lol Ain’t it the truth!
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So painfully true!
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I feel seen!
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What is an advertisement? I have never seen one of those before. Can I have one?
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Couple of comments went into spam. I think it was just for saying a word we associate with selling products. The bluebird is tough customer.
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I have no idea why those comments went into spam. WP can sure be glitchy sometimes.
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Yep! But I still think you are a difficult customer. 😉
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I do have pretty strict rules regarding comments, and I’m ruthless about deleting comments that violate my rules. But there was nothing in your comments to trigger an audit. I have another reader whose comments almost always end up in the spam or the trash, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why.
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Part of the way the spam system works is that it gathers information on the comments we call spam. So, if we visit websites that spam our comments frequently, then websites that would otherwise accept our comments will have to retrieve our comments out of the spam bucket.
That doesn’t apply to my comment, however. My last one got through. There was some word or phrase I was using that the spam flyer wouldn’t accept.
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Reblogged this on wordrefiner.
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Thank you for reblogging. 🙂
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I am getting adds for the car I actually have. Yeah, that’s the world
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))))))
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That’s extra funny because we were just talking about this.
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uBlock Origin blocks all the cookies that make that happen…
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That’s how the algorithm works.
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RIGHT!!!!!!! This is the world I live in.
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Spatula City, eh?
Some Weird Al supporters here…
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Most who works with adverts today, are either undereducated, self-educated or just uneducated. They all have in common that they confuse advertising with propaganda, which is hammered in. (We see a lot of the latter in politics these days …) Very soon, pointless nagging cause opposite reaction, but they don’t seem bright enough to realise that …
Here where I live, the same fenomena exist regarding emails. Several companies don’t bother about marketing regulations and do as they please. Buying one item and become a customer is an [sad] excuse to send spam, but it’s not allowed, as the customer still has to confirm ahead. Some companies include the confirmation in the terms of purchases. Without it, you’re not allowed to buy … (That’s extortion.) Something trending is cluttering genuine messages with adverts, but that’s not allowed without permission here either. As there are regulations and not laws, the companies can not be fined, so they continue without realising they are loosing business. Reporting them to their Internet supplier helped earlier and was very efficient, but the suppliers don’t care any more. Probably due to too much work there days without any compensation. Authorities don’t care either …
I don’t completly empty the spam filter, as I keep those disrespectful emails as reminders of companies to avoid.
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Hey, can’t beat a good spatula, especially the new ones that come in a variety of colors to match your kitchen decor and the accompanying whisks and batter scrapers. There’s probably a proper culinary term for “batter scraper” but I can’t think of it at the moment. Besides, you know what I’m talking about … it’s a batter scraper! And no, it’s not your finger! 😋
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My mother called them “rubber scrapers,” so as a child I thought that was what everyone called them. I don’t think I ever heard the word “spatula” until I was a teenager — maybe learned it in home ec class. (It would be nice to think I learned something in home ec class.)
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😂 Spatula was what we called it in my house. Batter scraper I’m pretty sure came from my MIL. We didn’t have home ec class in my school and my mother didn’t want anyone helping her in the kitchen so starting off as a new bride with next to zero kitchen skills was an eye opener for both me and my husband! Thank goodness I got my hands on my mother’s recipe box and my MIL was happy to teach me. I still have the Betty Crocker Cookbook she gave me ages ago. 💙
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[…] Man who’s already purchased product just wants ads to stop — bluebird of bitterness […]
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Thank you for the link. 🙂
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I also reblogged this also because I think we’ve all been victim to targeted ads at some point in time. Also this was interesting thanks for sharing.
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I bought some shot glasses. I keep getting suggestions for shot glasses.
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We have been stalked since the founding of advertising. They know what you like and even if you don’t like it, they stalk you anyway. Can anyone make it stop?
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