Rookie woman wears actual clothing to gym

From The Babylon Bee.

CYPRESS, CA — Members of a local gym were shocked and distracted today after a woman — who was clearly new and not familiar with the expected attire of exercising females — spent her entire workout actually wearing clothing.

“She obviously has no idea what she’s doing,” said gym member Cody Faust. “As you can see from looking at all of the other ladies here, she’s dressed far too modestly. It’s such an unusual sight that it’s honestly really distracting.”

Other women working out were not pleased with the fully clothed woman taking attention away from them. “Who does this girl think she is?!” asked Brittni Jackson, whose gym attire would have to be pixelated if this story were being reported on television to meet common standards of decency. “When you’re a woman coming to the gym, the first rule is to expose your body so you can get men to look at you and then become offended and angry that men are looking at you. Everyone knows this!”

Despite the commotion going on around her, the modestly dressed woman seemed unconcerned. “I’m here to exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle,” said the woman, Rebecca Crasnean. “What am I supposed to be wearing? Almost nothing? That sounds dumb. Sorry, I’m new at this.”

At publishing time, Rebecca had further shocked gymgoers by finishing her workout and leaving the gym without even taking a selfie or posting an Instagram story to show she had been at the gym.

20 Responses to Rookie woman wears actual clothing to gym

  1. jenny_o says:

    Such a wonderfully pointed article. I love it. That would be me, too, if I ever went to an actual gym. I’m sure eyes would roll. As it is, my exercise is walking and I wear whatever I happen to have on. lol

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The Hinoeuma says:

    Love the Bee…they are masters of the absurd.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. She must be named and shamed!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Katherine says:

    This is hilarious. I’ve been toying with making a post about the half naked women at the gym. We go to the gym 4-5x a week and I am usually one of the most dressed people there. Girls walk around in glorified underwear and then complain that men look at them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Brittni. 😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    • ktz2 says:

      Yes, I took that spelling as a sly response to the fact that so many baby girls of a certain time were named Brittany or Britteny or Britney, etc, . . every spelling but the “Brittni’. . haha

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ana Daksina says:

    Shocking!!! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. says:

    Just so you don’t dress like you’re going to Walmart with curlers in your hair and a facial mud mask. But that might work too. You certainly would get noticed.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jennie says:

    Way to go, Rebecca!

    Liked by 1 person

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