From The Babylon Bee.
CYPRESS, CA — Members of a local gym were shocked and distracted today after a woman — who was clearly new and not familiar with the expected attire of exercising females — spent her entire workout actually wearing clothing.
“She obviously has no idea what she’s doing,” said gym member Cody Faust. “As you can see from looking at all of the other ladies here, she’s dressed far too modestly. It’s such an unusual sight that it’s honestly really distracting.”
Other women working out were not pleased with the fully clothed woman taking attention away from them. “Who does this girl think she is?!” asked Brittni Jackson, whose gym attire would have to be pixelated if this story were being reported on television to meet common standards of decency. “When you’re a woman coming to the gym, the first rule is to expose your body so you can get men to look at you and then become offended and angry that men are looking at you. Everyone knows this!”
Despite the commotion going on around her, the modestly dressed woman seemed unconcerned. “I’m here to exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle,” said the woman, Rebecca Crasnean. “What am I supposed to be wearing? Almost nothing? That sounds dumb. Sorry, I’m new at this.”
At publishing time, Rebecca had further shocked gymgoers by finishing her workout and leaving the gym without even taking a selfie or posting an Instagram story to show she had been at the gym.
bluebird of bitterness 
)))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a wonderfully pointed article. I love it. That would be me, too, if I ever went to an actual gym. I’m sure eyes would roll. As it is, my exercise is walking and I wear whatever I happen to have on. lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Im with you there! Walking it is and lots of it, no gym needed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And think of the money you save!
LikeLike
You got it!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the Bee…they are masters of the absurd.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😄👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
She must be named and shamed!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is hilarious. I’ve been toying with making a post about the half naked women at the gym. We go to the gym 4-5x a week and I am usually one of the most dressed people there. Girls walk around in glorified underwear and then complain that men look at them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Women who wear revealing clothing and then get offended when men look at them are not very bright.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brittni. 😂😂😂😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, I took that spelling as a sly response to the fact that so many baby girls of a certain time were named Brittany or Britteny or Britney, etc, . . every spelling but the “Brittni’. . haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why is it no one from Gen Z spells their name the way you think it’s spelled?
“Chrissy, eh? Could you spell that, please?”
*loud exasperated sigh* “OMG! It’s K-R-Y-S-S-E-A”
LikeLiked by 2 people
hahaha
LikeLiked by 1 person
We baby boomers did that in high school — everyone who had a run-of-the-mill name tried to find a unique way to spell it. I knew a Sue who started spelling her name “Sioux” and an Ann who spelled hers “Aynne” and a Linda who spelled hers “Lynnda.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
We probably did but I can’t recall. I remember a group of us girls were obsessed with Illya Kuryakin from The Man From U.N.C.L.E. We started spelling our names backwards to sound like Russian agents working against the evil organization T.H.R.U.S.H.! How many hours we devoted to writing our spy names all over our notebooks! Time well spent! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shocking!!! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just so you don’t dress like you’re going to Walmart with curlers in your hair and a facial mud mask. But that might work too. You certainly would get noticed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Way to go, Rebecca!
LikeLiked by 1 person