Archaeologists discover steel cage where Jacob wrestled God

From The Babylon Bee.

JORDAN — In what has been hailed as a landmark day for Bible history buffs, archeologists have announced the discovery of the steel cage where Jacob wrestled with God, as chronicled in the book of Genesis.

“This is the site of one of the greatest matches of all time!” exclaimed Professor Cliff Martin of the International Institute for Biblical Discovery after the cage was found during an excavation along the eastern bank of the Jordan River. “Our earliest texts indicate it was the long-awaited main event of a huge card shown throughout Canaan, exclusively on pay-per-view.”

Scholars believe tensions had been building for months for the grudge match, with God challenging Jacob to a steel cage match to keep the notorious con artist from running away. “Jacob had been ducking God for so long,” wrestling historian Jonathan Hughes said. “The only way to settle it once and for all was within the confines of a steel cage. Such a spectacular event!”

The match eventually went to a draw, being called as the sun began to rise the following morning. Jacob suffered a dislocated hip in the battle after getting trapped in God’s patented spinning grapevine leglock, an injury that would plague him for the rest of his wrestling career.

At publishing time, the archeologists were already planning to make further excavations in the region that was once the hill country of Seir, where they hoped to find evidence of Jacob’s no-holds-barred, no-disqualification, falls-count-anywhere, first blood match against his twin brother Esau.

6 Responses to Archaeologists discover steel cage where Jacob wrestled God

  1. Nancy says:

    I wonder how much they charged to watch it on pay-per-view? 😆

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The Night Wind says:

    These guys at the Babylon Bee need to stop giving the History Channel and University Theology Departments ideas. Remember that it wasn’t that long ago that there were best-selling books claiming that Ezekiel’s Wheel and Elijah’s Chariot were spaceships.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hysterical! 🤼‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. egorr says:

    These guys have a wonderful imagination – I’d have trouble coming up with interesting parodies on a daily or weekly basis, and these guys/gals crank ’em out like they’re a daily gossip column!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nancy Ruegg says:

    LOVE Babylon Bee. Their creativity and wit astound me!

    Liked by 1 person

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