A poem for Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2018

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests uninvited guests,
That’s how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a cripple needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths,
That’s how much you’re loved by me.

–Ogden Nash (1902-1971)


English major jocularity

January 31, 2018


Today’s cultural moment

January 28, 2018

It’s the 205th anniversary of the day that Jane Austen’s greatest hit was published, which gives me all the excuse I need to post this ancient (ancient meaning even older than YouTube) video… which, despite being about as amateurish as a video can be, still cracks me up every time I watch it. (If you are unfamiliar with the plot of Pride and Prejudice, you might want to give this one a miss, as it will make no sense whatsoever.)


Find the man hiding in the coffee beans!

January 23, 2018

Somewhere in this pile of coffee beans, a man’s face is hidden. See if you can find it.

(click to enlarge)


Advertisements from long, long ago — classic car edition

January 22, 2018


Happy [cheery, merry, joyful, jocular, gleeful] birthday, Peter

January 18, 2018

A little bibliophile humor today in honor of the birthday of Peter Mark Roget (1779-1869), author of Roget’s Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases Classified and Arranged so as to Facilitate the Expression of Ideas and Assist in Literary Composition.


Friday happy dance

December 29, 2017


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