I can’t brain today, I have the dumb — pain at the pump edition

August 14, 2017

I can’t brain today, I have the dumb — sign language edition

August 3, 2017

The geek shall inherit the earth

August 1, 2017

I can’t brain today, I have the dumb — let’s-hope-their-life-insurance-is-paid-up edition

July 19, 2017

Mom spends beach vacation assuming all household duties in closer proximity to ocean

July 13, 2017

From The Onion.

NAGS HEAD, NC—Continuously doing laundry, cooking, or vacuuming in her family’s rented beach cottage this week, area mom Catherine Yardley has spent a much-needed vacation performing all her usual household chores while in closer proximity to the ocean, sources confirmed.

“Isn’t it nice to just get away for a while and relax by the water?” Yardley said as she wiped down the kitchen counter and then took out the garbage, tasks she would normally perform at a distance of 200 miles from the beach instead of 50 feet. “I just love that I can be scrubbing the bathroom, look out the window, and see the tide coming in. We should do this every year!”

At press time, Yardley was reportedly busy preparing a meal identical to what she would have made back home, except that she planned to serve it on paper plates.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diet

July 5, 2017

I can’t brain today, I have the dumb — distracted driving edition

June 22, 2017

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