I can’t brain today, I have the dumb

August 27, 2020


Bored of education

August 14, 2020

A young man, fresh out of college, reported for his first day of work at a grocery store.

The manager greeted him with a smile and a handshake, then handed him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the stockroom.”

“But I’m a college graduate,” protested the young man.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” said the manager.  “I had no idea. Here, give me the broom, and I’ll show you how it’s done.”

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A college student told his professor that he would have to miss a scheduled exam because of a funeral. The professor expressed his sympathy, and told the student he could take it the following week.

But the next week the student once again missed the exam, due to another funeral. The professor told him he would have to take it the following week.

“I’ll take it next week if no one dies,” said the student.

“How is it that so many people you know have died in such a short time?” asked the professor.

“I don’t know any of these people,” said the student. “But I’m the only gravedigger in town.”

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The dean of admissions at an agricultural college was interviewing a prospective student.

“What made you choose farming as a career?” asked the dean.

“I dream of making a million dollars in farming, just like my father,” replied the student.

“Your father made a million dollars in farming?” said the dean.

“No,” said the student. “But he always dreamed of it.”


Some people take things way too literally

August 5, 2020


Monday chuckles

August 3, 2020

Give this one a miss if you’re easily offended.


All in a day’s work

July 23, 2020

The boss always scheduled the weekly staff meeting for 4:30 on Friday afternoon. When one of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, the boss replied, “Because that’s the only time of the week when none of you want to argue with me.”

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In the course of a job interview, Frank’s prospective employer, Mr. Brown, asked him what he considered to be his greatest weakness. Without hesitation, Frank replied that it was his honesty.

Mr. Brown said, “I don’t think honesty is a weakness.”

Frank said, “I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think.”

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Harold, a new greeter at WalMart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Apart from his chronic tardiness, he was an excellent worker– immaculately dressed, sharp-minded, and a real credit to the company. One day the boss called him into his office for a talk.

“I like you, Harold,” said the boss. “You do a great job, but you’re always late for work. I understand you’re retired from the armed forces. What did they say if you came in late there?”

Harold replied, “They said, ‘Good morning, General. May I get you coffee, sir?’”

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At his job interview, Bill asked what benefits the company offered. The interviewer replied that they offered group health insurance, the cost of which was deducted from each employee’s pay.

Bill said, “My last job had full health coverage and life insurance, and my employer paid all the costs. I also got two weeks’ paid sick leave and three weeks’ paid vacation a year.”

“Wow!” said the interviewer. “Why did you leave a job with such great benefits?”

Bill replied, “The place went bankrupt.”


I can’t brain today, I have the dumb — get in shape edition

July 13, 2020


It’s geek to me

July 2, 2020


The fat of the land

June 25, 2020


Bored of education

April 13, 2020


Monday chuckles

April 6, 2020

WARNING: CRUDE LANGUAGE


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