biting social commentary | bluebird of bitterness

quote of the day

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. —Paula Poundstone
thought for the day

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bluebird’s greatest hits
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Bob's sister Hannah
Bob's sister Ada
Bob's brother Otto
Bob's sister Eve
Bob's sister Nan
A baby picture of Bob and his siblings (clockwise from upper left: Otto, Eve, Hannah, Ada, Bob, and Nan)
Bob's childhood home
Bob's mom and dad
Bob in his youth
Bob's cousin Alphonse
Bob's Uncle Ralph and Aunt Edna
Bob's cousin Archibald
Bob's stepbrother Herbie (who really needs to quit smoking)
Bob's cousin Chester
Bob's Great Uncle Norbert and Great Aunt Phyllis
Bob's cousin Saffron (who will do anything for a drink)
Bob's cousin Thorndike
Bob's brother-in-law Vinnie
Bob's cousin Orville, who loves the Green Bay Packers
Bob's nieces Lulu and Bitsy, the biker chicks
Bob's stepsister Eloise, with the twins, Rudy and Trudy
Bob's Uncle Henry and Aunt Rowena
Bob's niece Esmerelda (who likes to live dangerously)
Bob's Great Uncle Arthur up in Saskatchewan
Bob's cousin Louie, the grackle of grumpiness
Miss Screech, Bob's journalism teacher
Bob's nephew Winthrop, who loves sports
Bob's Uncle Seymour and Aunt Bernice
Bob's second cousin Schlomo in Brooklyn
Bob's nephew Baxter
Bob's cousin Darrell
Nigel, Bob's pen pal in New Zealand
Bob's sister-in-law Delphine, who volunteers at the animal shelter
Percy the Pickpocket, Bob's third cousin once removed (the relative no one likes to talk about... every family has one)
The Bluebird of Happiness™ (no relation to Bob)
A pair of boobies (also no relation to Bob, but included for readers who desire titillation)
A pair of tits (in case the boobies were insufficiently titillating)
Bluebird Bitter™, the beer they named for Bob
bluebird’s file cabinet
Advent Alice Parker Atlanta Master Chorale autumn barkaloungers baseball bears bibliophilia birds biting social commentary Boxing Day bugs Canada cats Charles Wesley Charlie Berens Christmas chuckles commercials cops coronapocalypse cows dance Dan Forrest Daniel LaBelle daylight saving time Dick Van Dyke Disney dogs double takes Dry Bar Comedy Duffel Blog Easter Elaine Hagenberg Eleanor Powell elephants English majors Epiphany Eric Whitacre faces Father's Day fish Fred Astaire frogs geek humor George Frideric Handel Groundhog Day Halloween Hanukkah happy homemakers Henri heroes horses Independence Day Irish dance Irving Berlin Jean Redpath Johann Sebastian Bach John Rutter Mack Wilberg marriage Mars&Venus Mary Tyler Moore Memorial Day memory lane mice monkeys Mormon Tabernacle Choir Mother's Day MozART Group National Library Week National Taiwan University Chorus New Year Nicholas Brothers Norwegian Chamber Orchestra Nutcracker Ola Gjeilo On Wisconsin! pandas Passover penguins Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky Piano Guys pi day pigs poetry Portland Choir & Orchestra puzzles rabbits reptile dysfunction Rube Goldberg school daze Scotland senior moments Shawn Kirchner Shirley Temple signs Simon's Cat snowmen spring squirrels St. Patrick's Day summer Sunday funnies synchronized skating Talk Like a Pirate Day Thanksgiving The Onion Tim Hawkins USC-Thornton Choral Artists UWEC Choral Artists Valentine's Day Vera Ellen Veterans Day vintage ads weight watchers Weird Al Yankovic winter Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart words at play

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50 degrees:

People in Florida crank up the heat.

People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

40 degrees:

People in Louisiana put on thermal underwear.

People in Wisconsin have picnics in the park.

30 degrees:

People in South Carolina shiver uncontrollably.

People in Wisconsin have one last cookout before the weather turns cold.

20 degrees:

People in Alabama put on overcoats, mittens, and earmuffs.

People in Wisconsin think about shutting the windows.

10 degrees:

New York landlords finally turn on the heat.

People in Wisconsin switch from short to long sleeves.

10 below zero:

Californians move to Mexico.

People in Wisconsin start drying their laundry indoors.

20 below zero:

Texans are hospitalized with hypothermia.

People in Wisconsin take their winter coats out of storage.

30 below zero:

Politicians put their hands in their own pockets.

People in Wisconsin let their dogs sleep indoors.

40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

Water in Wisconsin rivers starts to thicken.

50 below zero:

Hell freezes over.

People in Wisconsin say, “Cold enough for you?”

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