January 27, 2021
Three race horses in adjoining stalls were arguing over which of them was the best.
“Of my last sixteen races, I’ve won eleven,” said the first horse.
“Not bad,” said the second horse. “But of my last twenty races, I’ve won fifteen.”
“Impressive,” said the third horse. “But of my last twenty-eight races, I’ve won twenty-five.”
A greyhound who was lurking nearby overheard the horses arguing and decided to join the conversation.
“I don’t mean to brag,” said the greyhound, “but of my last forty-six races, I’ve won forty-four.”
The horses were clearly astonished. After a long silence, one of the horses said in an awestruck voice, “Wow! A talking dog!”
May 15, 2019
Let this be a warning to all of you horse owners, in the unlikely event that you are ever tempted to give your horse a rubber chicken.
June 18, 2018
A cowboy rode into a small town in Oklahoma and stopped at a saloon for a beer. What he didn’t know was that the locals had a habit of playing pranks on strangers. When he finished his beer and went outside, he found that his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the saloon, flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head, fired a shot into the ceiling, and yelled, “Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?”
No one answered.
“All right, I’m gonna have another beer,” said the cowboy. “If my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I done in Texas!”
The cowboy had another beer, and when he went outside, his horse had been returned to the post. He saddled up and got ready to ride out of town.
The saloon keeper came outside and said, “Say, pardner, before you go — what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy said, “I had to walk home.”