Let the memory live again

February 25, 2021

Stan and Lois, both in their eighties, were becoming more and more forgetful. On the advice of their doctor, they began carrying small notebooks and pencils with them so they could write down things they wanted to remember.

One evening while they were watching television, Stan got up from his chair.

Lois said, “Where are you going?”

Stan said, “To the kitchen for a glass of water.”

Lois said, “While you’re there, will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”

Stan said, “Sure.”

Lois said, “You’d better write it down so you won’t forget.”

Stan said, “I don’t need to write it down. You want a bowl of ice cream. I can remember that.”

Lois said, “Can you put some strawberries on top?”

Stan said, “Sure, I can do that.”

Lois said, “You’d better write it down so you won’t forget.”

Stan said, “I don’t need to write it down! Ice cream and strawberries. I can remember that.”

Lois said, “I want some whipped cream on it too. You’d better write it down. You’ll forget if you don’t write it down.”

Stan said, “I don’t need to write it down! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream! How hard is that to remember?”

Stan shuffled off to the kitchen, grumbling all the way. He was gone for about twenty minutes, and when he returned, he handed Lois a plate of bacon and eggs.

Lois looked at the plate, then looked at Stan and said, “Where’s my toast?”

 

 


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October 12, 2020


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September 7, 2020


Monday chuckles

August 24, 2020


Never try to outsmart a woman unless you are one

August 13, 2020


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June 22, 2020


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June 16, 2020


Social distancing pickup lines

April 7, 2020

❧ Hey gorgeous, can I ship you a drink?

❧ You can’t spell virus without U and I.

❧ Since the public library’s closed, I’m checking you out instead.

❧ If coronavirus doesn’t take you out, can I?

❧ I really can’t stay, baby — it’s COVID outside.

❧ Without you, my life is as empty as a supermarket shelf.

❧ Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within six feet of me?

❧ Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger, across an empty room…

❧ You can’t spell quarantine without U R A Q T.

❧ Hey baby, if you need toilet paper, I can be your Prince Charmin.


Monday chuckles

February 17, 2020


Monday chuckles

February 10, 2020

An oldie but goodie. (WARNING: CRUDE LANGUAGE)


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