Monday chuckles — school daze edition

September 9, 2019


Wednesday weirdness — back to school edition

September 4, 2019

Any mother in the United States who did today what Jim and Margie’s mother did half a century ago would get a visit from Child Protective Services. 


Puppy love

September 3, 2019


Schoolhouse schlock

March 19, 2019


Teacher of the year

March 7, 2019

Read the story here.


It’s the most wonderful time of the year

December 14, 2018

On the last day of school before Christmas vacation, Mrs. Jones asked little Patrick, “What does your family do at Christmas?”

Patrick replied, “My ten brothers and sisters and I go to midnight mass with our parents, and then we come home and put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Santa Claus to come and bring our toys.”

“Very nice, Patrick,” said Mrs. Jones. “Billy, what does your family do at Christmas?”

Billy replied, “My sister and I go to church with our parents, and when we get home we put cookies and milk by the chimney and hang up our stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Santa Claus to come and bring our toys.”

“Very nice, Billy,” said Mrs. Jones. “Isaac, what does your family do at Christmas?”

Isaac replied, “As soon as Dad gets home from the office, we all get into the Rolls and the chauffeur drives us to Dad’s toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and sing ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus.’ Then we all get into Dad’s private jet and fly to the Bahamas.” 


SAT drops scoring system, will award all students participation trophies

November 8, 2018

From The Babylon Bee.

U.S.—In a move to lower educational standards even further, the College Board announced Wednesday the organization would be eliminating the scoring system from the SAT exams and replacing any kind of objective scoring with the awarding of participation trophies.

Students taking the test will no longer receive a traditional numerical score and will instead receive a trophy indicating they participated in the exam.

“Upon completion of the exam, whether they answered any questions correctly or not, students will get a gold ‘You Tried!’ sticker and a trophy,” said a College Board representative. “We can’t guarantee this will help prepare your kids for a future career, but it definitely will help them feel good about themselves.”

“That’s what education’s all about, after all,” he added.

Test proctors will roam the room and pat kids on the back throughout the exam, saying things like, “Great job answering ‘C’ on every question there, sport!” and “That’s an amazing drawing of an X-Wing you made all over the page. You’re a special kid, Johnny!”

At publishing time, sources had also confirmed students who take the SAT will be given a juice box and some orange slices.


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