March 11, 2018
A Scotsman who was planning a trip to the Holy Land was aghast when he learned that it would cost sixty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee.
“In Scotland it wouldn’t have been more than twenty,” said the Scotsman.
“Yes,” said the travel agent, “but remember, the Sea of Galilee is water on which Jesus himself walked.”
The Scotsman said, “Well, at sixty dollars an hour for a boat, it’s no wonder he walked.”
January 15, 2016
A helicopter pilot started having engine trouble while flying over the Scottish Highlands, and he had to make an emergency landing in the middle of a sheep pasture. He got out and walked over to where the shepherd was sitting and smoking his pipe.
“I say, good fellow,” the pilot said, “can you tell me where I might find a mechanic?”
The shepherd shook his head.
“Nae, laddie,” he said. “But I kin tell ye where t’ find a McPherson or a McCormick.”