Happy National Grandparents Day
September 12, 2021
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circus of life | Tagged: National Grandparents Day, senior moments | 
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Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Sunday funnies
August 22, 2021Mildred had attended mass faithfully all her life, but shortly after her 100th birthday, she stopped going. Fr. Gregory was concerned at her absence and went to call on her.
To his relief, he found Mildred in excellent health. He asked her why she had stopped coming to mass.
“Well, Father,” she said, “when I got to be 90, I really expected God to take me any day. But I made it to 95, and then 100, so I figured God’s been busy and must have forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him.”
3 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: chuckles, heaven, senior moments, Sunday funnies | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Happy Senior Citizens Day
August 21, 2021
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Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Happy National Girlfriends Day
August 1, 2021Yes, it’s a real thing.
❧❧❧
A group of girlfriends, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View because the waiters there were so handsome.
Ten years later, at age 50, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View because the food and wine were so good.
Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View because it had the nicest restrooms.
Ten years later, at age 70, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View because it was wheelchair accessible.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View because they had never been there before.
15 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: chuckles, National Girlfriends Day, senior moments | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Senior moments
July 19, 2021
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Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Monday chuckles
July 19, 2021
1 Comment | circus of life | Tagged: Charlie Berens, Midwest Grandpa, On Wisconsin!, senior moments | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Senior moments
March 23, 2021
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Let the memory live again
February 25, 2021Stan and Lois, both in their eighties, were becoming more and more forgetful. On the advice of their doctor, they began carrying small notebooks and pencils with them so they could write down things they wanted to remember.
One evening while they were watching television, Stan got up from his chair.
Lois said, “Where are you going?”
Stan said, “To the kitchen for a glass of water.”
Lois said, “While you’re there, will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
Stan said, “Sure.”
Lois said, “You’d better write it down so you won’t forget.”
Stan said, “I don’t need to write it down. You want a bowl of ice cream. I can remember that.”
Lois said, “Can you put some strawberries on top?”
Stan said, “Sure, I can do that.”
Lois said, “You’d better write it down so you won’t forget.”
Stan said, “I don’t need to write it down! Ice cream and strawberries. I can remember that.”
Lois said, “I want some whipped cream on it too. You’d better write it down. You’ll forget if you don’t write it down.”
Stan said, “I don’t need to write it down! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream! How hard is that to remember?”
Stan shuffled off to the kitchen, grumbling all the way. He was gone for about twenty minutes, and when he returned, he handed Lois a plate of bacon and eggs.
Lois looked at the plate, then looked at Stan and said, “Where’s my toast?”
16 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: chuckles, marriage, Mars&Venus, senior moments | Permalink
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A rose by any other name
February 16, 2021Walt showed up late for the card party at the senior center. He blamed it on his poor memory, which seemed to be growing worse with age.
“You know, I used to have that problem too,” said his friend Stan. “But then I went to a memory clinic, and they taught us some really great techniques, like visualization and association, and I haven’t had a problem since.”
“That sounds like just what I need,” said Walt. “What was the name of the clinic?”
Stan’s mind went blank. He thought and thought, and finally he said, “What do you call that flower with the long thorny stem?”
“You mean a rose?” said Walt.
“That’s it!” said Stan. Then he turned to his wife and said, “Hey Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?”
8 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: chuckles, marriage, senior moments | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Sunday funnies
January 10, 2021Wally was a postal worker assigned to the dead letter office. One Wednesday afternoon a letter arrived addressed to God in shaky handwriting. Wally opened it and read:
Dear God,
I am an elderly widow living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Two of my dearest friends are coming to my house for dinner on Sunday, but I have no money to buy food. I have no family to turn to. You are my only hope. Please help me.
Sincerely,
Elvira
Wally showed the letter to his fellow workers, and they decided to take up a collection to help the widow. When everyone had contributed, they had $95, which Wally put into an envelope and mailed to her.
On Tuesday of the following week another letter arrived, addressed to God in the same shaky handwriting. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
I can never thank you enough for what you did for me! Because of your gift, I was able to make a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a wonderful time, and I told them all about what you had done for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Love,
Elvira
p.s. There was $5 missing. I think it must have been those thieves at the post office.
8 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: chuckles, senior moments, Sunday funnies | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
