Awesome post for read, i hope everyone enjoy — part 4

December 8, 2015

Every blogger gets spammed. Some bloggers consider it a minor nuisance; some consider it a major nuisance. At bluebird of bitterness, we consider it a bonus. Sometimes it can be downright hilarious, as I’ve attempted to demonstrate in previous posts in this series. Of course, it helps to have a really warped sense of humor, which is something I seem to have been born with. That’s why it cracks me up when stuff like this shows up in my spam filter:

I find this topic to be really something that I believe I’d by no means understand. It seems too complex and extremely vast for me. I’m having a look ahead to your subsequent publish, I will attempt to get the dangle of it!

I’ll be the first to admit that getting the dangle of anything can be challenging. But it’s worth the effort! Just listen to these satisfied users:

I simply couldn’t depart your website prior to suggesting that I extremely loved the usual info an individual supply in your visitors? Is going to be again incessantly to check up on new posts.

I enjoy, result in I found exactly what I was taking a look for.

I’ve read a few just right stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for revisiting.

You managed to hit the nail upon the highest and also defined out the entire thing without having side effect, people can take a signal.

Wonderful operate! This is the type of details which are said to be distributed over the net.

It in truth was a amusement account it. Glance highly developed to far extra agreeable from you!

That distribute truly designed my evening. You can’t take into account just simply how much period I had put together spent for this information!

Here every person is sharing these knowledge, so it’s fastidious to read this web site.

These women came as a result joyful to learn all of them and now have honestly been taking advantage of these things. Appreciate your actually being considerably considerate and for going for certain excellent issues millions of individuals are really needing to learn about.

You are my breathing in, I own few blogs and often run out from to post.

(A word to the wise: Running out from to post can be needlessly exhausting. Next time try just strolling out from to post.)

Some readers find they must overcome the hostility of family members who fail to understand their devotion to this blog:

My relatives all the time say that I am wasting my time here, but I know I am getting know-how all the time by reading these pleasant posts.

Some readers go so far as to try to convert their heathen relatives:

I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also visit this blog on regular basis to take updated from latest gossip.

Occasionally, an extraterrestrial will visit and leave a comment:

We are happy to read news with regards to graphic matter, I am new on this planet, I am learning about afters effects in addition to cartoon visual presentation.

(Welcome to Earth! If you want to know about afters effects and cartoon visual presentation, you’ve definitely come to the right planet; I’m pretty sure they don’t have that stuff on Saturn.)

Most spammers won’t admit to being extraterrestrials, but some of their comments are so garbled that you can’t help wondering:

Your authored suubject matter stylish, nonetheless, you command get got ann nervousness οѵеr that you wish be delivering the following.

Unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

The guidelines in addition acted like a great way to fully grasp that most people have similar eagerness much like my very own to learn good deal more pertaining to this problem.

You’re sure as a result significantly in terms of this kind of theme, taught me to in person trust it from a lots of assorted angles.

If you have an area that other medication is feeding, you won’t need to wait long. However, there are a few men who simply want to wear a straightforward tattoo on the neck.

Nice answers in return of this question with real arguments and describing the whole thing about that.

It’s enormous that you are getting ideas from this article as well as from our argument made at this place.

It not absolutely approaches me. Who else, what can prompt?

Asking questions are actually good thing if you are not understanding something totally, except this article gives fastidious understanding yet.

The place else may I am getting that type of information written in such a perfect means?

It does not take ideal time to create quite a few ideas for your long haul this is the perfect time to feel very special. We have understand this particular placed of course, if I’ll simply just I need to tell you quite a few intriguing troubles or maybe information.

Someone essentially assist to make seriously posts I’d state.

You undoubtedly allow it to become seem so simple together with your powerpoint presentation however obtain this matter to become truly another thing we consider I will by no means realize.

What a stuff of unambiguity and preserveness of precious familiarity regarding unexpected feelings.

Your productiveness will suffer if you dont decouple your experience of injustice from your agresssive behavior. Being harmless in your approach to people will actually make possible putting more glukose levels behind your acting.

Well, if there’s one thing I need, it’s to put more glukose levels behind my acting. I’ll be sure to get on that right away. 

Awesome post for read, i hope everyone enjoy — part 3

August 18, 2014

When I’ve blogged about spam in the past (here and here), fellow bloggers have expressed astonishment that I even look at the stuff in my spam queue before deleting it. I have even been accused of having too much time on my hands, which is not at all the case. I just happen to get a kick out of stuff that reads like encrypted communications between extraterrestrials from some planet in a distant galaxy. Like these:

Thank you for the good writeup. It if truth be told was a entertainment account it. Look complex to more brought agreeable from you! However, how could we keep up a correspondence? Might you kindly decline me a send?

This paragraph is actually a fastidious one it helps new net viewers, who are wishing for blogging.

Normally I do not read through write-up with sites, on the other hand want to state that this write-up extremely compelled us to perform and so! Ones composing flavor has been shocked us.

Excellent troubles totally, you just earned a completely new target audience. Exactly what can you recommend in terms of your own create that you just built some days previously? Virtually any confident?

I truly do trust each of the thoughts you may have shown to your post. These are really effective and may undoubtedly function. However, your discussions are so swift for newbies. Would you be sure to lengthen all of them a little from when?

I’d been indicated this web site by means of the uncle. I am will no longer positive irrespective of whether this set up will be created by method of your pet since nobody realize like precise pertaining to this issues.

You are a strong exceedingly skilled doodlekit. I’ve became a member of the nourish and also crunches with regard to trying to find further of your respective superb write-up. 

I will right away motorola clutch a person’s rss feed once i cannot to seek out ones email registration website link and also e-zine support. Complete you may have almost any?

The item in fact once was any leisure bank account that. Seem complex so that you can much more included pleasant on your part!

The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea.

To tell the truth this became a fantastic advanced post nonetheless as with every fantastic writers there are a few items that could be worked well after. Nevertheless never ever the actual significantly less it turned out interesting.

Occasionally a spammer sounds as if he’s trying to channel Eugène Ionesco or Samuel Beckett:

Jack shall have Jill. What about having a pizza first? Your hand feels cold. The machines will not operate properly. A red tie will match that suit. You will soon get used to the work. What about you? He fell behind with his work. There are mice next to the refrigerator, under the sink and inside the cupboard.

Others attempt to channel Roget, the thesaurus guy:

{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.| I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting. {Very well|Perfectly| Well|Exceptionally well} written!

I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your{email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service. {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize| recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe. {It is|It’s} {appropriate| perfect|the best} time to make some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line} {more than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays| today|lately|as of late}, {yet|but} I {never|by no means} {found|discovered} any {interesting|fascinating| attention-grabbing} article like yours.

Well, if you want articles that are interesting/fascinating/attention-grabbing, you’ve come to the right place. And I’m not the only one who thinks so:

Your stuffs excellent. Continuously tackle this!

I am just really contented to peer this post. Thanks a lot with this particular looking to hint you actually.

It is tremendous blog, I would like to be like you.

I need to declare that this post is amazing, fantastic published and are available with around virtually all crucial infos. 

You could definitely see your skills within the paintings you write. 

I thought it was going to be some boring old publish, but it really compensated for my time. 

I simply want to say I’m all new to weblog and certainly savored you’re website. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your blog.

Just between you and me, everyone should probably be likely to bookmark my blog.

Sometimes a spammer will have harsh words for the search engine that led him to the site:

This is the type of info that are supposed to be shared around the web. Shame on Google for not positioning this put up higher!

Occasionally, someone will be guilt-stricken over his failure to thank me earlier for being so awesome:

I as well as my pals have already been reading through the best tips found on your web page and instantly I got a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to the web blog owner for those strategies. 

Some like to let me know how they stay awake while reading my blog:

I constantly spent my half an hour to read this weblog’s articles or reviews daily along with a mug of coffee.

Truth be told, I think everyone should read bluebird of bitterness with a mug of coffee. Or a cup of tea. Or a glass of wine. Or a shot of brandy. Whatever floats your boat.

Not all spammers write to compliment me, or even to tell me what they drink while they read. In fact, some would like to have me arrested:

I’m not the owner of the site or of the copyrights, but it’s very clear to me that this website is violating many copyrights. Is there a way I can report it under the DMCA? 

Others offer advice on how to make bluebird of bitterness less soporific:

Еverything published was very reasonable. But, think on this, supposе you were to write a killer heаdline? I ain’t saying your informatіon isn’t good, howevеr suppose you added a headline hat gгabbed fοlk’s attention? bluebird of bitterness is kinda vanilla. You might try adding a vіdeo or a piсture or two to grab people inteгested about everything’ve written. 

Once in a while a spammer will even write to whine about spam:

Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane.

I know just how you feel, comrade. My advice: learn to enjoy it.


Awesome post for read, i hope everyone enjoy — part 2

August 15, 2013

Blogging is one of my favorite ways of avoiding housework, and as someone who could be described as technologically challenged, I appreciate the fact that WordPress makes it all so easy. Among the great services WordPress provides to bloggers free of charge is Akismet, an automated system that separates spam from legitimate comments. I have no idea how Akismet works, but I’ve always been impressed by how rarely it makes a mistake. (Anyone who’s curious about Akismet can learn more here, and no, WordPress is not paying me to do this little commercial for them.)

At bluebird of bitterness, spam comments outnumber legitimate comments by a ratio of about 17 to 1 (yes, I actually did the arithmetic to arrive at that number; I have quite a lot of housework I’m avoiding at the moment). As I explained in a previous post, I usually skim through the spam before trashing it, just to see if any legitimate comments have ended up there by accident. While I’m there, I occasionally read some of the spam comments. Why, you wonder, would I waste my time in such a manner? Because I have kind of a warped sense of humor, and some things just tickle my funny bone — one of them being prose that reads as if it had been written in Sanskrit by someone whose first language is Norwegian, then translated from Sanskrit to English by someone whose first language is Urdu. For example:

Reading this information I’m happy to express that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I such a lot indisputably will make sure to don’t fail to remember this site and give it a look on a constant basis.

This requires knowledgeable explication and is intended for the most part in favour of capitalize on by health regard workers and facilities/organizations providing haleness care including pharmacies, hospitals, long-term keeping facilities, community-based fitness care utility providers and pre-hospital pinch services.

The length of time have you ever been writing a blog for? you earn running a blog glimpse straightforward. The full start looking of one’s web site is fantastic, while well because content!

Its fastidious dialogue about this piece of writing here at this blog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

Nice respond in return of this query with genuine arguments and describing the whole thing about that.

I have to state that advantages and drawbacks amazing, nice created including somewhere around all considerable infos.

Every stare upon this offer matter therefore we are confused. We are attracted to this sort of issues. Person appreciate ones accumulate, and profit your precious time with this.

At the present time bloggers distribute emphatically about gossips and disposable and this is truly frustrating. A sunny locate with exciting subject matter, this is what I hardship. Thanks for keeping this locate, I’ll live visiting it.

I would like to apprentice even as you amend your website. The account helped me a applicable deal. I were a little bit familiar of this your broadcast provided vivid clear idea.

I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

Not all spam gets translated into English, however. Sometimes I find the spam filter full of comments that looks like this:

курсы визажиста курсы визажа школа визажистов курсы визажистов в минске минске курсы макияжа визажист обучение визажист на дом визажист визаж услуги визажиста

or this:

実質的には考えられないためですどのような今日より以前このタスクに幸いなことに、それだけを考慮今より多くのデータに迅速な期間を通じて つの休暇のすべてから選択を読む現実に見えるが生き残る分飛行機ブランドを達成し、それにもかかわらず素晴らしい提供購入を熟考する空実質的なストーブを得るに進みます。気に中毒者の期間だけで

or this:

phim cách nhiệt nhà| dán phim cách nhiệt nhà| dán phim cách nhiệt| dán phim cách nhiệt đẹp| dán phim cách nhiệt nhà đẹp|phim cach nhiet nhà| dan phim cach nhiet nha| dan phim cach nhiet| dan phim cach nhiet dep| dan phim cach nhiet nha 

or even this:

دیکشنری ترکی استانبولی دیکشنری انگلیسیترجمه سوئدی دیکشنری ترکی استانبولی دیکشنری انگلیسیترجمه سوئدی دیکشنری ترکی استانبولی دیکشنری انگلیسیترجمه سوئدی دیکشنری ترکی استانبولی دیکشنری انگلیسیترجمه سوئدی دیکشنری ترکی استانبولی دیکشنری انگلیسیترجمه سوئدی دیکشنری ترکی استانبولی دیکشنری انگلیسیترجمه سوئدی

Most of the time, however, spammers make their comments in something that at least resembles English. Some can barely contain their gushing enthusiasm for my humble little blog:

This post absolutely designed my personal day time. An individual can not take into account just just how a great deal time period I had put together invested just for this facts! 

This could be one certain in the most effective blogs we’ve previously arrive across on this subject. Essentially Superb. I am also an expert within this matter so I can comprehend your work.

Excellent merchandise from you, person. I’ve recognize your stuff earlier to and you happen to be just far too fantastic.

You have done a well job on this topic! I am very impress your this post, this is too much interesting.

Really hardly ever do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you could have hit the nail on the head. I am very joyful that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for something relating to this.

Thank you so much for giving everyone an extraordinarily breathtaking opportunity to discover important secrets from here. It is always so awesome plus packed with a great time for me and my office colleagues to visit your website no less than 3 times a week to read through the fresh secrets you have.

I feel quite lucky to have come across your site and look forward to some more amazing minutes reading here.

I really could learn about this all day!! This post really peaked my interest.

Hey, that’s why I started blogging — so I could peak people’s interest.

I love it when readers express astonishment that there is no admission charge at bluebird of bitterness:

It’s so pretty generous with you to deliver unhampered just what most people would’ve made available for an electronic book to end up making some profit for themselves, considering that you could possibly have tried it in case you desired.

Occasionally a visit to the birdhouse results in unexpected benefits for the reader:

A powerful share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a bit of evaluation on this. And he the truth is purchased me breakfast because I found it for him.

Once in a while a reader will be on the very brink of despair, when a chance visit to bluebird of bitterness restores his or her will to live:

I would like to show thanks to this writer for bailing me out of such a instance. As a result of researching throughout the online world and finding thoughts which were not pleasant, I was thinking my entire life was gone. Being alive without the solutions to the issues you’ve resolved as a result of your main guideline is a crucial case, and those which could have negatively damaged my career if I had not discovered your site. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come upon such a subject like this. It’s possible to at this point look ahead to my future.

Your thinking really responded all our questions. In fact, more than what we had recognized prior to when we stumbled on your wonderful blog. My partner and i no longer have doubts and also a troubled mind because you truly attended to all of our needs here.

I precisely needed to say thanks yet again. I’m not certain what I might have handled in the absence of the actual hints discussed by you on this industry. It was a real terrifying matter in my position, nevertheless taking note of your expert mode you solved the issue forced me to jump with fulfillment.

Nothing makes a blogger happier than knowing that she’s forced a reader to jump with fulfillment.

On the other hand, this blog clearly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some readers just can’t resist letting me know how much I have disappointed them:

The very core of your writing whilst appearing agreeable initially, did not really work well with me personally after some time.

Somewhere throughout the sentences you managed to make me a believer but only for a short while. I nevertheless have got a problem with your jumps in assumptions.

Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something informative to read?

Well, I guess you can’t please everyone.

Sometimes a spammer will get just a little too cozy with me:

I am continually browsing online for articles that can facilitate me. Would you be excited by exchanging hyperlinks?

Sorry, but I never exchange hyperlinks on the first date.

Some spammers just want to tell me their personal problems:

Opulently after spending three nights in agony with a very sore tooth, irrefutable it had to be sorted as i be experiencing to look after three tiring kids so need to watch it sorted so i could be struck by some sleep.

Occasionally one will even offer me investment advice:

Buying pennies today just to trade them in tomorrow is just brilliant. Any time you have a chance to tripe your investment, you have to take it!

I’m not an expert on these things by any stretch of the imagination, but you can be sure that anytime I’m able to tripe my investment, I jump at the opportunity.

But my favorite comments are the ones that tell me how awesome I am:

Some of your articles are so well written that looks like poetry.

I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely helpful info particularly the last part I care for such info much.

I am just commenting to make you be aware of what a brilliant experience my wife’s girl experienced checking your web site. She even learned a lot of things, with the inclusion of how it is like to have a marvelous helping nature to get the others smoothly completely grasp a variety of grueling things.

I do believe this is an excellent website. I am going to revisit yet again since I saved as a favorite it.

I am just happy for your information and in addition sincerely hope you find out what an amazing job you are always putting in instructing other individuals via your websites. More than likely you haven’t encountered any of us.

It makes a change to find some intelligent content for once, I reaaly am getting sick of the retarded drivel I come across on a daily basis, you deserve respect for putting out readable and informative information.

We visitors actually are definitely fortunate to exist in a notable site with so many lovely individuals with valuable tactics.

Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything like this before. So nice to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject.

My cousin recommended I’d perhaps like this site. He or she once was entirely appropriate. This put up truly made my day!

You made my day, pal. Tell your cousin — him or her — I said “thanks.”

Awesome post for read, i hope everyone enjoy

March 17, 2013

Spam is a fact of life for all bloggers. At bluebird of bitterness I get anywhere from a dozen to several dozen spam comments daily. Usually, assuming there aren’t too many of them, I’ll skim through them before deleting them to see if any legitimate comments have gotten caught in the spam filter (it happens occasionally). Sometimes in the process I find some pretty weird stuff, including comments that read as if they had been written in Russian, then translated from Russian into Swahili, and then from Swahili into English. The headline above is just one example of this type of comment, but I’ve collected lots of them over the last couple of years.

Some are critical, even insulting:

How is it that just anybody can write a blog and get as popular as this? Its not like youve said anything incredibly impressive more like youve painted a pretty picture over an issue that you know nothing about! I dont want to sound mean, here. But do you really think that you can get away with adding some pretty pictures and not really say anything?

Nearly all of the commentary on this web site dont make sense.

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

Hey, you used to write excellent, but the last several posts have been kinda boring. I miss your tremendous writings. Past several posts are just a little bit out of track!

Sorry, pal, but you get what you pay for.

Some offer suggestions for how I could improve the site:

Naturally like your web site however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the reality on the other hand I will surely come again again.

Typically the photos usually are secondary – we are seeking interesting banter, soulful debate, gripping waters of opinions bursting through your photos.

Any reader seeking soulful debate or gripping waters of opinions needs to look elsewhere, because bluebirds don’t deal in that sort of thing.

With some spammers, it can be a little challenging to determine whether they love me or love me not:

Accidently found your website when looking for different cake recipes, dont know how that happened! Google can be so dumb sometimes.

Thought about numerous clarifications relating to this challenge initially and you also possess smashed all those meals by means of showing a new must-see of an publish.

The other thing that makes me really sad is that people think it is adorable to have a pig that is overweight.

I just got up from sleep and I am already reading your post. It means something!

I agree along with you 100%. I would hesitation, for one thing, but I think that not worthy of talking about.

Oh, I agree — definitely not worthy of talking about.

A few spammers express profound puzzlement at my lack of fame:

I cant consider youre no more fashionable because you undoubtedly have the gift.

What i don’t understood is in reality how you’re not actually a lot more well-favored than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You know therefore significantly on the subject of this subject, made me in my view consider it from so many varied angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be interested until it’s something to accomplish with Lady gaga!

What i don’t realize is if truth be told how you are no longer really a lot more smartly-appreciated than you might be right now.

Listen, if you think I deserve to be fashionable, well-favored, and smartly-appreciated, then you should get all your friends to subscribe to bluebird of bitterness. That’s how a blogger gets to be fashionable, well-favored, and smartly-appreciated.

Then there are questions from folks who are too lazy to scroll to the bottom of the page to find the answer:

Your web site quite a bit up fast! What web host are you the usage of?

But a lot of spam comments are actually rather flattering, once I decipher them:

Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. Such clever work and exposure definitely works for me!

Rattling nice style and wonderful content, nothing at all else we want.

Observe up the monumental hunk of process, I show handful points on this internet site also I deem that your net scene is stimulating furthermore has places of splendid news.

Lucky me I discovered your site by accident, and I’m shocked why this accident didn’t took place earlier!

I actually wanted to jot down a brief note in order to appreciate you for those magnificent secrets you are posting on this site. 

This web page is somewhat captivating. I’m delightful I discovered it for the reason that I learned some recommendations at this time. Preserve blogging.

Terrific, what a pleasant learn! This discussion board is strictly what I was looking for, joyful I found this!

Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to be aware of.

It’s a obedient dishonor you don’t a gift money add! I’d definitely ply money for this fantastical webpage!

Im simply no expert, on the other hand imagine you merely made the very best point. You undoubtedly know very well what youre discussing, and I will surely get behind in which.

I will not debate together with your endings simply believe you are precise on the income!

Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!

Wow, this paragraph is pleasant, my sister is analyzing these kinds of things, thus I am going to let know her.

My good friend and I were just talking about this particular subject, jane is always wanting to prove me wrong! I am going to present her this particular write-up and additionally rub it in a little!

Wow, what a blog! I mean, you just have so a lot guts to go ahead and tell it like it’s. Youre what blogging needs, an open minded superhero who isnt afraid to tell it like it is.

Your means of describing the whole thing in this article is in fact good, every one be capable of without difficulty understand it.

This article is so great, i bet no one will dislike it.

Dislike it? I should say not — not if they know what’s good for them.

Don’t even THINK about disliking this.

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